DEMY'S POV
I awoke to a paw on my face. I opened one eye to see Rose climbing all over me, her orange fur glistening in the sunlight peeking through the curtains. She shifted her weight to her front paws, making me wince as she pressed down harder on my healing wounds. I reached up with my left hand and pulled her off of me.
I sighed and sat up, stretching, but my right arm stayed limply at my side. I still didn't have full control of it, and I doubted I ever would. There were all kinds of torn up muscles and tendons, thanks to Slash and his switchblade. I shook my head clear and got out of bed, walking into the small bathroom of my new apartment, Rose trailing behind me.
It was a little depressing to look in the mirror. The gashes that Slash had made still looked as awful as ever. On my jaw, my cheek, across my eye, my neck. Not to mention my hair. I hadn't gotten around to shaping it up yet, so it was still the horrible hackjob Slash had done. Most of it was maybe a few inches long, with various longer strands, and my bangs, which were still all there. I just brushed my hair to the side a little, not wanting to even mess with it.
Overall, I looked like a Barbie doll run over by a lawn mower.
I looked around the room and found a tee shirt and jeans to wear. I changed into my clothes and flopped back down on my bed, grimacing as the action sent a jolt of pain through my right arm and my side.
"I thought painkillers were supposed to kill pain," I mumbled, popping two of the pills into my mouth and swallowing them dry. "Go figure."
I went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on perfume, all using my left hand. I'd been getting used to it in the past week, but writing things down at work sure was hard. It was fun working at the BAU again, though. But I did miss my old job. I couldn't believe that they just demoted me like that. I told them everything I knew at the time, what else was I supposed to do?
I put my phone on silent as it started ringing. I knew it was Cissnei, calling to check up on me, as she had done every hour on the freaking hour for the past week. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but geez she's too in touch with her maternal side when it comes to me. I'm only two years younger than her! I kind of wanted to pick up the phone just to tell her I'm 21 and that I can take care of myself. Until faced with a psychopath with a knife. But I didn't need to add that part.
I shoved my phone and bottle of painkillers into my bag and headed out the door, telling Rose to remember to use the litter box instead of the carpet.
Arriving at work wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Just people talking about the same thing: Darcy and Meg. (Everyone obviously talked anytime Meg wasn't in the room.) I was sick of the very idea of them possibly getting married when she so belonged with Spencer. And Nessa was fuming.
"That little sonuva-- Who does he think he is, trying to take our Meg like that?!" I heard her shout before I even entered the room. She was silent for a second when I opened the door, but then, after seeing that it wasn't Meg entering, continued her rampage.
"Ness," I started, giggling at her, "I think Meg will make the right choice."
"What are you so cheerful about?" she asked with a bit of acidity in her tone. She obviously was not in a good mood. On top of everything going on, it was Monday.
I plopped down in a chair and let my head hit the table like lead. "Do you have any idea what a mixture of Tylenol and Cymbalta does to a person?" I grumbled. "I've been having all kinds of mood swings all weekend."
I think I saw Spencer grinning out of the corner of my eye. Surely it was because there were all kinds of flaws in my self-diagnosis, but he didn't say anything.
"Your arm any better?" Derek asked me.
I stared at my right hand sitting on the table. I succeeded in twitching my index finger. "That's about it," I sighed.
Hotchner observed from the opposite end of the table. "It'll be a hindrance in the field," he stated.
"I'll be fine," I said. If Nessa can handle herself with no arms, I'd be okay. "What we really need to be worrying about is Darcy."
"I thought you said not to worry," Ness said condescendingly.
"Did you not hear what I said after that? Painkillers and antidepressants, woman. They jack with your brain," I said, rolling my eyes and grinning.
The door clicked open and in stepped Meg, pale as ever.
"Well, hi there," I giggled, then cleared my throat. "Um, you'll have to excuse my behavior today..." I mumbled, running a hand through my hair and looking at the ground.
Meg smiled at me and took a seat.
Nessa and I exchanged a glance. We both knew what the other was thinking. We were in for yet another awkward day of Spencer sitting on the sidelines while Meg was in danger of making the worst decision in her life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
"That little sonuva-- Who does he think he is, trying to take our Meg like that?!"
I screamed. He had sent more flowers. It was disgustingly hallmark worthy. And the smell of roses coated the air here. It was nauseating after the first ten bouquets, now it was full on clog the nostrils and throat and choke you to death. These days I smelt nothing but roses. They were everywhere in my nose.
I had barely gotten any sleep last night and it was because of Demy. I couldn't sleep for fear of the nightmares were she took center stage. I could only see her the way we found her in the warehouse. Blood staining her shirt, open gash on the shoulder, blood leaking from wounds on the face and her hair chopped like a child's Barbie doll. It was terrifying to see her like that and to hear it. In the ambulance all you could hear were her screams and they tried to patch the shoulder until we could get there. Then there was the comatose state she had been in. She had looked like a run over flower. All wilted and mashed looking. It was a truly terrifying dream to have. Nothing compared to what she had for sure but still.
The flight back had been awkward with Darcy on the plane. That man had the ability to put anyone ill at ease. And that gentleman front, a load of crap. Robert had been a gentleman and look how that turned out. Men were disgusting creatures. But if Meg liked them, I wanted them to be the best option possible. And that was not Darcy. But I knew in my soul if she accepted I would be happy and help plan the wedding. I wouldn't like it but I would make it the most memorable day she'll ever have.
Then the weekend had been even more awkward. It started off with a bang. Then I found out Beth's parents were coming down for the weekend. That had been a disaster in the making. They hadn't approved of how I dressed or the posters I had or the books I read. In short they hated me and Hotch and tried to convince Beth to leave an move back with them. Then all Grandma served was boiled okra and mashed up carrots. I never wanted to see that mushy a carrot again. Then to top the weekend off Beth decided she wanted to start on the nursery. She was seven months in and nesting. She had developed OCD and everything had to be perfect. But why this weekend we had to do it I knew not. I guess it's probably a good idea to start while dad is actually in town and can help. But all I did this weekend was look at paint samples and carpet swatches. All in various shades of green and purple and teal and pink. We found a cute unisex crib and we were having it shipped in. We still didn't know what gender it was and we disagreed. Dad thought it was going to be a girl and Beth says a boy. Jack seems to think it will be some hermoaphrodite creature mixed with a alien. I hoped it would be a little girl I could dress up.
But today was the start of a new week and I was determined that this week get better.
I noticed Demy had walked over and looked up. We had a discussion on the mixture of Tylenol and cymbalta she was on. That couldn't be healthy for the livers. And Spencer just stood of to the side smiling at our antics. He looked like a puppy dog. Not with ears and crap but those eyes that aimed to please. It was obvious he wanted to be accepted and Meg was treating him like dropped goods: but that was ok with me for now because me and Demy could now reinstate the plan. And now we had all the time in the world to work on it.
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MEG'S POV
Stretching, waking, smiling...it all happened with him next to me now. Breathing, eating, sleeping. Laughing, crying, loving...All with William Darcy. He'd moved in...kinda. He'd spent the weekend with me, and it was absolutely...amazing. Waking up to the smell of breakfast and coffee, the paper folded open to the Obits...all just like I liked. Stirring in the middle of the night, to feel a warm body next to me, being able to nuzzle into strength of strong muscled skin and cotton pajamas. Walking in the afternoons, no longer alone on my strolls, hands in my coat pocked, simply admiring the swirls in the air caused by my pointless breathing. Now, I had my arm laced through his, smiling at a inviting face...a face that wanted to marry me.
He hadn't proposed yet, and I felt like I was walking on pins and needles, waiting to wake up with a ring on the pillow beside me, or after a walk, for him to come up with the world's most perfect speech, and propose. And after all that part of me felt...excited. Almost eager and anxious. Like...like I wanted it. I couldn't deny that coming home to Darcy every day wouldn't be a good thing. I wouldn't oppose it. I couldn't love him as much as I should, but I could try. A life together, turning into a love. And maybe...that love forming a child. It sounded great.
But part of me knew it couldn't fill the void that he left. The he I would have to smile at everyday, and honestly, couldn't help but smile at, even though I'd broken his heart. Even though the thought of him broke my own. Would I still give him that smile as I walked down the isle to meet my husband? When I told him I was pregnant with another man's child? Would he be able to smile back? I didn't know. And I had never been more afraid from losing him.
I stretched in the morning to my phone buzzing, around seven. I was surprised my interal clock had let me sleep this long. Darcy sighed as he stirred, his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I could smell soap and cotton on him, like fresh laundry, and a clean bathroom. Like a shower, or a bubble bath. A bubble bath with Darcy. I smiled wide.
Darcy and I hadn't slept together as in...well, I'm still a virgin. I didn't even kiss Darcy that often. I wanted too. Desperately. I almost wished he'd propose already and get it over with...the only problem? I had no idea in hell what my answer would be.
"Good morning, Miss Giry," he sighed, touching my hair gingerly, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"Good morning," I crooned back, curling into him. He laughed gently.
"I do believe we have to wake, dear," he replied, pulling up my phone. "Duty calls."
He placed it in my palm, and the bright screen blinded me. Penny had texted me.
B here by 8 babe & any news?????
I groaned, happily replying, No. I'll tell you when it all goes down in excruciating detail.
I was sent a sideways smiley face. I guess she was happy...or something. I had technology.
"I need to shower," I groaned, sitting up. Darcy smiled.
"I'll make breakfast, then," he said, popping out of bed, and helping me up. He smoothed the sheets into perfect formation in less than a minute. Mr. Mom. I could appreciate that.
I trapped him close to me before he could walk away, burying my head into his chest. His lips traced up my collar bone, until he found my ear.
"One day, Miss Giry, we must find the time to shower together."
My stomach churned. My lack of response must've scared him, because he pulled back to look at me.
"I haven't overstepped any boundaries, have I, Miss Giry?"
I smiled wide, letting my fingers lace in his hair. "...I...no," I said, smiling. "I just...is this...a good time? I mean...William, are you going to stick this out for the long run?"
His expression got deep, emotion boring into my soul through his eyes, one of the only ways I got glimpses into his emotions. "I want to make myself very clear that I am, Megara," he whispered, almost emotional. I smiled.
"I need to take that shower, I can't be late," I mumbled quietly.
"Of course," was his only reply, planting a kiss in my hair, before leaving to the kitchen.
* * *
Was it me, or did everyone stop talking once I entered the conference room?
Demy giggled at me, half madness in her eyes. She asked me to forgive her, her meds were making her a little loopy. I knew how that felt.
"News?" JJ asked when we got on the plane. My eyes blazed.
"Great balls of fire, Jennifer Jareu! If anything happens, you know you shall all hear immediately! Do you see a ring?" I growled.
"If he proposes, why should we see a ring?" she mumbled.
"I don't know when it became anyone's business whether my answer was yes or no," I growled, turning through pages in the file. Demy glanced uneasily between us, as Sophia fluffed her honey hair. It took everything I had not to pull the trigger on my glock just to piss people off.
"What does that mean?" Nessa asked. "It is our business whether Prince Stick-up-His-Ass marries you or not, isn't it?"
My nostrils flared. "Excuse me?" I asked. I wasn't mad at Nessa, but that comment was rude. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Did it ever occure to you that I may actually like him?" the plane when silent. "Maybe I like Darcy, and maybe, I wouldn't mind marrying him."
Nessa stared. "Why?" she asked.
"...Darcy's not a bad guy," I said, rising to walk up and down, to pace the room. "I mean, we are compatible. It makes sense we'd be together. He'd be a devoted husband and great father-"
Did Spencer flinch?
"and...well, I can't say I'd mind coming home to him every day."
"If he lets you keep your job," Demy mused. I stopped.
"Hadn't thought this all the way through, huh?" Nessa asked.
"It isn't any of his business whether I stay or not, and he knows that," I said, trying to convince myself as much as the others.
"...Are you going to say yes?" Nessa asked. I look at the ground, before sadly replying I had no idea.
Arriving at the station, it amazed me how men stopped dead at the sight of a ring on your finger. They'd start to flirt, but then it ended with a glance at the promise rock on my index finger. And of course, my beloved boyfriend (fiance?) had sent me flowers while I was across the country. Never stops to amaze me. The BAU already smelled of roses and bleeding hearts (appropriate?), and now I was womaning-up some musty man space of this texas police station.
"How many bodies, again?" asked a tall, dark-haired boy coming up to me. His eyes were a silver blue, and his smile was sweet, but I read it as one thing:cocky. This kid thought he could wrap me around his little finger, I saw it in his eyes. I smiled sweetly.
"Two," I replied. "Tina Reeves and Joshua Black. Both found in high-trafic areas, Tina in the park and Joshua on the highway side."
"And no security evidence?"
I batted my lashes. "If that was the case, do you think we'd be here, pretty boy?" I asked, tugging gently at the boy's tie. I would miss this, once I got married.
Whoa.
Er, if I got married.
Spencer's head jerked at my use of his nickname. I smiled just behind the boy at him, but the boy couldn't tell.
"What's your name, cowboy?" I asked. The boy smiled, like he'd never seen a woman before. The kid had to be fresh out of college, or maybe an intern. He almost looked younger than me.
"Jackson White, ma'am," he said, beaming. A Texas accent poured through, and I wanted to burn my brains out with amonia, but resisted. I guessed my accent was probably equally annoying.
"Jackson White..." I purred, a cross between Marilyn Monroe and...well, me. Hard to do Marilyn with a French accent, but I'd mastered that hybrid long ago. The boy swallowed. Now who had who wrapped around their little finger? I smirked, daring so much as to run my pale hands down his chest. He was paralyzed.
"Meg," Nessa said shortly, and I smiled, skipping away. She frowned at me.
"You really need to stop doing that," she said curtly. I pouted.
"Mais Nessa!" I pleaded. "Vous savez combien il est amusant! Qui sait combien de temps je vais devoir le faire ...."
Regardless of the speech she didn't understand, she glared.
I looked at my feet, hanging them aimlessly of the desk, swinging them back and forth, then over at the boy, still stunned.
"Poor thing," I crooned. "He still didn't get the whole details of the case..." I looked at Nessa with big puppy dog eyes. She never looked up.
"You have five minutes," she said.
"Oui! Victoire!" I cried, hopping off the desk and calling: "Voici, je viens, ma chérie!"
"...So...they were hanged?" he asked me. I nodded sadly, serious this time.
"That's what the labs say, anyway. And that's all we know."
"...Guy must be a psycho."
I shrugged. "Everyone does something for a reason. Whatever it is, it will never make taking a life right," I growled. "...Nothing..."
"Pick it up."
I blinked, and took it gingerly between my forefinger and thumb, holding it as far from me as possible. Morgan laughed at me, and I looked up with blue honest eyes at him. What was so funny?
"Why do I hafta use a gun?"
"Have to," Reid corrected. "No more television," he commanded. I nodded. I was only watching for better language skills, but if it was teaching me poorly, I was glad to be rid of the crap.
"Because," Morgan said, coming behind me level the gun. I shrunk into him, as far from the weapon as possible.
"I don't like it," I responded, wiggling out of the strong man's arms. He sighed. We'd been at this for hours. "I feel dirty. Why do I need one?"
"To protect yourself," he said matter-of-factly, put the destroyer back into my hands. "and others."
"...So kill someone, to save others?" I asked. He nodded.
"...That's not right," I said. "Even if you do save thousands of lives, by taking one. You are still a murderer. And murder is wrong. It doesn't make you any different from the monster taking the lives," I said, shrinking into a corner of the small room, tosing the gun. "Murder is murder. Your taking away God's creature. A mother's son. A child's father. Someone has loved them, because no one goes unloved. Everyone dies for a reason, and no one should be killed. Ever. Lives are lives, and we protect lives, and we don't protect by taking them."
I looked at the boys, who I realized I'd hurt. I knew they'd both taken lives before, blood on their hands. Maybe they weren't proud of that. I didn't care, I swore I'd never have to have some innocent girl tell me this, and make me look like them.
"I'm never going to take a life," I swore. "Ever."
I awoke to a paw on my face. I opened one eye to see Rose climbing all over me, her orange fur glistening in the sunlight peeking through the curtains. She shifted her weight to her front paws, making me wince as she pressed down harder on my healing wounds. I reached up with my left hand and pulled her off of me.
I sighed and sat up, stretching, but my right arm stayed limply at my side. I still didn't have full control of it, and I doubted I ever would. There were all kinds of torn up muscles and tendons, thanks to Slash and his switchblade. I shook my head clear and got out of bed, walking into the small bathroom of my new apartment, Rose trailing behind me.
It was a little depressing to look in the mirror. The gashes that Slash had made still looked as awful as ever. On my jaw, my cheek, across my eye, my neck. Not to mention my hair. I hadn't gotten around to shaping it up yet, so it was still the horrible hackjob Slash had done. Most of it was maybe a few inches long, with various longer strands, and my bangs, which were still all there. I just brushed my hair to the side a little, not wanting to even mess with it.
Overall, I looked like a Barbie doll run over by a lawn mower.
I looked around the room and found a tee shirt and jeans to wear. I changed into my clothes and flopped back down on my bed, grimacing as the action sent a jolt of pain through my right arm and my side.
"I thought painkillers were supposed to kill pain," I mumbled, popping two of the pills into my mouth and swallowing them dry. "Go figure."
I went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on perfume, all using my left hand. I'd been getting used to it in the past week, but writing things down at work sure was hard. It was fun working at the BAU again, though. But I did miss my old job. I couldn't believe that they just demoted me like that. I told them everything I knew at the time, what else was I supposed to do?
I put my phone on silent as it started ringing. I knew it was Cissnei, calling to check up on me, as she had done every hour on the freaking hour for the past week. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but geez she's too in touch with her maternal side when it comes to me. I'm only two years younger than her! I kind of wanted to pick up the phone just to tell her I'm 21 and that I can take care of myself. Until faced with a psychopath with a knife. But I didn't need to add that part.
I shoved my phone and bottle of painkillers into my bag and headed out the door, telling Rose to remember to use the litter box instead of the carpet.
Arriving at work wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Just people talking about the same thing: Darcy and Meg. (Everyone obviously talked anytime Meg wasn't in the room.) I was sick of the very idea of them possibly getting married when she so belonged with Spencer. And Nessa was fuming.
"That little sonuva-- Who does he think he is, trying to take our Meg like that?!" I heard her shout before I even entered the room. She was silent for a second when I opened the door, but then, after seeing that it wasn't Meg entering, continued her rampage.
"Ness," I started, giggling at her, "I think Meg will make the right choice."
"What are you so cheerful about?" she asked with a bit of acidity in her tone. She obviously was not in a good mood. On top of everything going on, it was Monday.
I plopped down in a chair and let my head hit the table like lead. "Do you have any idea what a mixture of Tylenol and Cymbalta does to a person?" I grumbled. "I've been having all kinds of mood swings all weekend."
I think I saw Spencer grinning out of the corner of my eye. Surely it was because there were all kinds of flaws in my self-diagnosis, but he didn't say anything.
"Your arm any better?" Derek asked me.
I stared at my right hand sitting on the table. I succeeded in twitching my index finger. "That's about it," I sighed.
Hotchner observed from the opposite end of the table. "It'll be a hindrance in the field," he stated.
"I'll be fine," I said. If Nessa can handle herself with no arms, I'd be okay. "What we really need to be worrying about is Darcy."
"I thought you said not to worry," Ness said condescendingly.
"Did you not hear what I said after that? Painkillers and antidepressants, woman. They jack with your brain," I said, rolling my eyes and grinning.
The door clicked open and in stepped Meg, pale as ever.
"Well, hi there," I giggled, then cleared my throat. "Um, you'll have to excuse my behavior today..." I mumbled, running a hand through my hair and looking at the ground.
Meg smiled at me and took a seat.
Nessa and I exchanged a glance. We both knew what the other was thinking. We were in for yet another awkward day of Spencer sitting on the sidelines while Meg was in danger of making the worst decision in her life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
"That little sonuva-- Who does he think he is, trying to take our Meg like that?!"
I screamed. He had sent more flowers. It was disgustingly hallmark worthy. And the smell of roses coated the air here. It was nauseating after the first ten bouquets, now it was full on clog the nostrils and throat and choke you to death. These days I smelt nothing but roses. They were everywhere in my nose.
I had barely gotten any sleep last night and it was because of Demy. I couldn't sleep for fear of the nightmares were she took center stage. I could only see her the way we found her in the warehouse. Blood staining her shirt, open gash on the shoulder, blood leaking from wounds on the face and her hair chopped like a child's Barbie doll. It was terrifying to see her like that and to hear it. In the ambulance all you could hear were her screams and they tried to patch the shoulder until we could get there. Then there was the comatose state she had been in. She had looked like a run over flower. All wilted and mashed looking. It was a truly terrifying dream to have. Nothing compared to what she had for sure but still.
The flight back had been awkward with Darcy on the plane. That man had the ability to put anyone ill at ease. And that gentleman front, a load of crap. Robert had been a gentleman and look how that turned out. Men were disgusting creatures. But if Meg liked them, I wanted them to be the best option possible. And that was not Darcy. But I knew in my soul if she accepted I would be happy and help plan the wedding. I wouldn't like it but I would make it the most memorable day she'll ever have.
Then the weekend had been even more awkward. It started off with a bang. Then I found out Beth's parents were coming down for the weekend. That had been a disaster in the making. They hadn't approved of how I dressed or the posters I had or the books I read. In short they hated me and Hotch and tried to convince Beth to leave an move back with them. Then all Grandma served was boiled okra and mashed up carrots. I never wanted to see that mushy a carrot again. Then to top the weekend off Beth decided she wanted to start on the nursery. She was seven months in and nesting. She had developed OCD and everything had to be perfect. But why this weekend we had to do it I knew not. I guess it's probably a good idea to start while dad is actually in town and can help. But all I did this weekend was look at paint samples and carpet swatches. All in various shades of green and purple and teal and pink. We found a cute unisex crib and we were having it shipped in. We still didn't know what gender it was and we disagreed. Dad thought it was going to be a girl and Beth says a boy. Jack seems to think it will be some hermoaphrodite creature mixed with a alien. I hoped it would be a little girl I could dress up.
But today was the start of a new week and I was determined that this week get better.
I noticed Demy had walked over and looked up. We had a discussion on the mixture of Tylenol and cymbalta she was on. That couldn't be healthy for the livers. And Spencer just stood of to the side smiling at our antics. He looked like a puppy dog. Not with ears and crap but those eyes that aimed to please. It was obvious he wanted to be accepted and Meg was treating him like dropped goods: but that was ok with me for now because me and Demy could now reinstate the plan. And now we had all the time in the world to work on it.
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MEG'S POV
Stretching, waking, smiling...it all happened with him next to me now. Breathing, eating, sleeping. Laughing, crying, loving...All with William Darcy. He'd moved in...kinda. He'd spent the weekend with me, and it was absolutely...amazing. Waking up to the smell of breakfast and coffee, the paper folded open to the Obits...all just like I liked. Stirring in the middle of the night, to feel a warm body next to me, being able to nuzzle into strength of strong muscled skin and cotton pajamas. Walking in the afternoons, no longer alone on my strolls, hands in my coat pocked, simply admiring the swirls in the air caused by my pointless breathing. Now, I had my arm laced through his, smiling at a inviting face...a face that wanted to marry me.
He hadn't proposed yet, and I felt like I was walking on pins and needles, waiting to wake up with a ring on the pillow beside me, or after a walk, for him to come up with the world's most perfect speech, and propose. And after all that part of me felt...excited. Almost eager and anxious. Like...like I wanted it. I couldn't deny that coming home to Darcy every day wouldn't be a good thing. I wouldn't oppose it. I couldn't love him as much as I should, but I could try. A life together, turning into a love. And maybe...that love forming a child. It sounded great.
But part of me knew it couldn't fill the void that he left. The he I would have to smile at everyday, and honestly, couldn't help but smile at, even though I'd broken his heart. Even though the thought of him broke my own. Would I still give him that smile as I walked down the isle to meet my husband? When I told him I was pregnant with another man's child? Would he be able to smile back? I didn't know. And I had never been more afraid from losing him.
I stretched in the morning to my phone buzzing, around seven. I was surprised my interal clock had let me sleep this long. Darcy sighed as he stirred, his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I could smell soap and cotton on him, like fresh laundry, and a clean bathroom. Like a shower, or a bubble bath. A bubble bath with Darcy. I smiled wide.
Darcy and I hadn't slept together as in...well, I'm still a virgin. I didn't even kiss Darcy that often. I wanted too. Desperately. I almost wished he'd propose already and get it over with...the only problem? I had no idea in hell what my answer would be.
"Good morning, Miss Giry," he sighed, touching my hair gingerly, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"Good morning," I crooned back, curling into him. He laughed gently.
"I do believe we have to wake, dear," he replied, pulling up my phone. "Duty calls."
He placed it in my palm, and the bright screen blinded me. Penny had texted me.
B here by 8 babe & any news?????
I groaned, happily replying, No. I'll tell you when it all goes down in excruciating detail.
I was sent a sideways smiley face. I guess she was happy...or something. I had technology.
"I need to shower," I groaned, sitting up. Darcy smiled.
"I'll make breakfast, then," he said, popping out of bed, and helping me up. He smoothed the sheets into perfect formation in less than a minute. Mr. Mom. I could appreciate that.
I trapped him close to me before he could walk away, burying my head into his chest. His lips traced up my collar bone, until he found my ear.
"One day, Miss Giry, we must find the time to shower together."
My stomach churned. My lack of response must've scared him, because he pulled back to look at me.
"I haven't overstepped any boundaries, have I, Miss Giry?"
I smiled wide, letting my fingers lace in his hair. "...I...no," I said, smiling. "I just...is this...a good time? I mean...William, are you going to stick this out for the long run?"
His expression got deep, emotion boring into my soul through his eyes, one of the only ways I got glimpses into his emotions. "I want to make myself very clear that I am, Megara," he whispered, almost emotional. I smiled.
"I need to take that shower, I can't be late," I mumbled quietly.
"Of course," was his only reply, planting a kiss in my hair, before leaving to the kitchen.
* * *
Was it me, or did everyone stop talking once I entered the conference room?
Demy giggled at me, half madness in her eyes. She asked me to forgive her, her meds were making her a little loopy. I knew how that felt.
"News?" JJ asked when we got on the plane. My eyes blazed.
"Great balls of fire, Jennifer Jareu! If anything happens, you know you shall all hear immediately! Do you see a ring?" I growled.
"If he proposes, why should we see a ring?" she mumbled.
"I don't know when it became anyone's business whether my answer was yes or no," I growled, turning through pages in the file. Demy glanced uneasily between us, as Sophia fluffed her honey hair. It took everything I had not to pull the trigger on my glock just to piss people off.
"What does that mean?" Nessa asked. "It is our business whether Prince Stick-up-His-Ass marries you or not, isn't it?"
My nostrils flared. "Excuse me?" I asked. I wasn't mad at Nessa, but that comment was rude. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Did it ever occure to you that I may actually like him?" the plane when silent. "Maybe I like Darcy, and maybe, I wouldn't mind marrying him."
Nessa stared. "Why?" she asked.
"...Darcy's not a bad guy," I said, rising to walk up and down, to pace the room. "I mean, we are compatible. It makes sense we'd be together. He'd be a devoted husband and great father-"
Did Spencer flinch?
"and...well, I can't say I'd mind coming home to him every day."
"If he lets you keep your job," Demy mused. I stopped.
"Hadn't thought this all the way through, huh?" Nessa asked.
"It isn't any of his business whether I stay or not, and he knows that," I said, trying to convince myself as much as the others.
"...Are you going to say yes?" Nessa asked. I look at the ground, before sadly replying I had no idea.
Arriving at the station, it amazed me how men stopped dead at the sight of a ring on your finger. They'd start to flirt, but then it ended with a glance at the promise rock on my index finger. And of course, my beloved boyfriend (fiance?) had sent me flowers while I was across the country. Never stops to amaze me. The BAU already smelled of roses and bleeding hearts (appropriate?), and now I was womaning-up some musty man space of this texas police station.
"How many bodies, again?" asked a tall, dark-haired boy coming up to me. His eyes were a silver blue, and his smile was sweet, but I read it as one thing:cocky. This kid thought he could wrap me around his little finger, I saw it in his eyes. I smiled sweetly.
"Two," I replied. "Tina Reeves and Joshua Black. Both found in high-trafic areas, Tina in the park and Joshua on the highway side."
"And no security evidence?"
I batted my lashes. "If that was the case, do you think we'd be here, pretty boy?" I asked, tugging gently at the boy's tie. I would miss this, once I got married.
Whoa.
Er, if I got married.
Spencer's head jerked at my use of his nickname. I smiled just behind the boy at him, but the boy couldn't tell.
"What's your name, cowboy?" I asked. The boy smiled, like he'd never seen a woman before. The kid had to be fresh out of college, or maybe an intern. He almost looked younger than me.
"Jackson White, ma'am," he said, beaming. A Texas accent poured through, and I wanted to burn my brains out with amonia, but resisted. I guessed my accent was probably equally annoying.
"Jackson White..." I purred, a cross between Marilyn Monroe and...well, me. Hard to do Marilyn with a French accent, but I'd mastered that hybrid long ago. The boy swallowed. Now who had who wrapped around their little finger? I smirked, daring so much as to run my pale hands down his chest. He was paralyzed.
"Meg," Nessa said shortly, and I smiled, skipping away. She frowned at me.
"You really need to stop doing that," she said curtly. I pouted.
"Mais Nessa!" I pleaded. "Vous savez combien il est amusant! Qui sait combien de temps je vais devoir le faire ...."
Regardless of the speech she didn't understand, she glared.
I looked at my feet, hanging them aimlessly of the desk, swinging them back and forth, then over at the boy, still stunned.
"Poor thing," I crooned. "He still didn't get the whole details of the case..." I looked at Nessa with big puppy dog eyes. She never looked up.
"You have five minutes," she said.
"Oui! Victoire!" I cried, hopping off the desk and calling: "Voici, je viens, ma chérie!"
"...So...they were hanged?" he asked me. I nodded sadly, serious this time.
"That's what the labs say, anyway. And that's all we know."
"...Guy must be a psycho."
I shrugged. "Everyone does something for a reason. Whatever it is, it will never make taking a life right," I growled. "...Nothing..."
"Pick it up."
I blinked, and took it gingerly between my forefinger and thumb, holding it as far from me as possible. Morgan laughed at me, and I looked up with blue honest eyes at him. What was so funny?
"Why do I hafta use a gun?"
"Have to," Reid corrected. "No more television," he commanded. I nodded. I was only watching for better language skills, but if it was teaching me poorly, I was glad to be rid of the crap.
"Because," Morgan said, coming behind me level the gun. I shrunk into him, as far from the weapon as possible.
"I don't like it," I responded, wiggling out of the strong man's arms. He sighed. We'd been at this for hours. "I feel dirty. Why do I need one?"
"To protect yourself," he said matter-of-factly, put the destroyer back into my hands. "and others."
"...So kill someone, to save others?" I asked. He nodded.
"...That's not right," I said. "Even if you do save thousands of lives, by taking one. You are still a murderer. And murder is wrong. It doesn't make you any different from the monster taking the lives," I said, shrinking into a corner of the small room, tosing the gun. "Murder is murder. Your taking away God's creature. A mother's son. A child's father. Someone has loved them, because no one goes unloved. Everyone dies for a reason, and no one should be killed. Ever. Lives are lives, and we protect lives, and we don't protect by taking them."
I looked at the boys, who I realized I'd hurt. I knew they'd both taken lives before, blood on their hands. Maybe they weren't proud of that. I didn't care, I swore I'd never have to have some innocent girl tell me this, and make me look like them.
"I'm never going to take a life," I swore. "Ever."
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DEMY'S POV
Meg never ceased to amaze me. I mean, she was here flirting while she already basically had a fiancée, and another guy who was in love with her. Not to mention we had a case to work on, so flirting was a bit of a waste of time. I didn't care if she was stressed out about the Darcy thing, she was giving me a headache. I reached into my satchel and grabbed a Tylenol tablet, then slipped it into my mouth.
Jackson was practically drooling over Meg as she rambled on in French, which pretty much no one understood. I zoned out until she started speaking in English again.
"Everyone does something for a reason. Whatever it is, it will never make taking a life right," she growled. "...Nothing..."
I tilted my head at Meg, who was staring a bit morosely at the floor. "You okay?" I asked.
She nodded, then I saw Jackson's eyes widen at me.
"Oh, you're a girl?" he exclaimed.
"What?" I snapped. I saw Nessa's jaw drop, and Meg's eyebrows rose.
"I mean, I only just glanced at you a minute ago," he stated. "I wasn't really payin' atte--"
"Whatever." I may not have been wearing makeup, and my jacket was a bit baggy, but did I really look like a guy?! I grabbed my grey knit hat from my bag and pulled it on, then crossed my arms--or tried to, but then just settled on putting my hand on my hip.
"Now, miss, I didn't mean nothin' by it!" Jackson apologized.
I left the room without a word, pulling my hat further down on my forehead. If he had thought I looked like a boy, he didn't have to say anything! And it wasn't my fault I looked like this! I had scars all over my face, and extremely short hair, both things which were not my doing. And I wasn't that great at applying makeup with my left hand, so I just decided not to do it. And I was just extremely pissed off anyway, so this wasn't helping!
"Woah!" Reid said as I bumped into him, making him drop whatever papers he was holding.
"Sorry," I said half-heartedly, continuing walking.
He quickly picked up the papers and came after me. "Something the matter?" he asked.
"Nothing, it's stupid," I sighed, stopping and turning to him. "I'm just not in a good mood."
"Oh. Well," he mumbled. "Anything I could help with?"
"Yeah," I scoffed, glaring at the floor. "If you can pry Meg off of that little hick, it'd be just great."
His brow furrowed.
Well, that probably didn't help his self esteem.
"That little country boy is just all over her," I said, trying to make it sound more like Jackson was the bad guy instead of Meg. We still needed to get her and Spencer together, now more than ever.
"I see," he mumbled.
I wanted to just ask him why he hadn't pursued Meg, but that would be a bit out of line. But seriously! I knew he loved her, so he needed to just put his big boy pants on and take control. All he ever did was stand by while Meg was off with some other guy, and I knew it had to hurt him.
And if he wasn't going to put forth the effort to get together with Meg, then Ness and I would have to do it for him. I just wasn't sure I was quite ready to start up Nessa's plan again, though. Last time, it was just really awkward...
"Spencer," I addressed in all seriousness. "Do you--" The door to the room that Meg was in opened. I saw a flash of her blond hair as she turned towards us and I panicked a bit. The next thing I knew, I was pulling on Reid's tie, our lips pressed together. I wondered what Meg would think of this...
*****************************************************
MEG'S POV
"I..." I stopped, unable to move. Or breathe. Or think. Reid's wide eyes turned to me, and if possible, got even wider. He pried his mouth off hers, and turned face me, his expression the most vulnerable I had seen.
"Meg..." he breathed my name, a name I once loved to hear spoken, but now it cracked my heart.
"I..." I looked away, eyes stinging. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I leaned against the door for support, burying my head in my chest.
"I..." the tears were coming, I felt it. I looked at the ground, standing tall, but letting my hair cover my face. "I...I'm sorry..." I mumbled,"I...I need to go the hotel," I said. "I...I'll..."
I bolted, turning around, and stomping out.
"Meg?" I heard Nessa ask, and Derek grabbed my arm, but I pushed him away, running out the door. I was sobbing, and screaming. Getting in the SUV, I knew I couldn't drive. Hailing a cab, I told the driver through my hyperventalation where to go. Flopping into the room--that was mine alone--I burst into a horrible fit, worse than the one I had been in.
Dem...and Spence? No...no...they couldn't be....Suddenly, I remembered that day Darcy came on our last case, and how Demy had drapped herself over his arm, even for a few seconds. I knew she liked him, but....
"Ah!" My breath hitched, and my hands flew to my chest. Was my heart...physically breaking? God, it hurt...so bad...
My tears were staining my shirt as they flowed down my neck, onto my chest.
Even if I knew they were together, would it hurt as much as seeing what happened? Seeing her...her hands grip at his tie....
I felt another rip, and I moaned, holding my heart again.
"Kill me..." I begged. "Tuez-moi ... me sauver de moi-même ... je ne suis pas bon ... pas bon pour personne. Il n'ya pas de mots pour décrire ... ma grande horreur, le dégoût de soi, et la misère ... s'il ya un Dieu," I pleadded,"then kill me..."
No one heard my pleas, no one answered them. I was alive and shaking, dying. He didn't want me.... He'd moved on.
He loved someone else, when I still loved him.
I loved him.
I stared at the ground, realizing that I did love him...but I could never let him know....It was for his well-being.
And for his well being, I would leave him alone.
For his well being, I would forget this life.
For him, I'd sell myself in marriage to a man I didn't love.
Because I loved Reid, I would marry Darcy. To protect him.
Lips on lips, hand on a tie, eyes wide, afraid, accepting.
I would marry Darcy, to protect them both.
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NESSA'S POV
I walked into the cramped office and looked around it. I loved the first sight of a new office. My eyes caught on a petite blond women and a lean man. She was giggling and acting like a teenager in lust. I shook my head and continued my view. I saw Demy shaking her head on the otherside of the room. I looked back at the couple and noticed something new. It was Meg. She was hitting on another man! Hadn't that been whats gotten her in so much trouble? I sighed and found a desk to work at. Dad set my laptop down and booted it for me. I walked over to Meg and stared at her.
"Meg..."
She skipped off and lectured me in French. I tuned her out and stared Jackson down. He looked back at me and I glared harder. He looked unnerved and he turned away. I sat down at my desk and Meg sat on top of it.
Poor thing," she crooned. "He still didn't get the whole details of the case..."
I knew the look she would give me so I didn't look up.
"You have five minutes," I said.
Then Meg hopes off my desk and calls to him. She starts talking about the case and I tune her out. I start to stare at the ceiling to give me something to do.
A couple of minutes later and I look up. Demy walked over to Meg and started speaking with her. I noticed Jacksons confused expression and he spoke up.
"Oh, your a girl?"
I stared at him like he was the biggest idiot ever and Meg just looked at him. I watched Demy stomp off and I saw her bump into Reid. He dropped all of hi papers and quickly gathered them. He followed her muttering something. I quietly stared at my computer and resumed my game of chess.
5 minutes later
I sat back as a email popped up. It was from dad saying a new lead had come up and he wanted us to call some limks he had.
"Hey Meg, can you get Reid and Demy?"
She nodded and walked off.
I sat there staring aimlessly at my laptop. Beth had called this morning and me and dad talked with her. She had a Ob/Gyn appointment this morning to check on the baby and they decicided she was five monthes along. She and dad had made the choice to not find out the gender till it was born. The nursery was getting set up. The carpet and walls refurbished and filled with furniture. Then the rest of the house was getting babyproofed.
I let my mind wonder to thoughts of Meg and Darcy. Was she that in love with him? Could I really come between them if that was what she wanted? Would I do it? Wouldn't I? Was Reid ever going to speak his mind? What did he feel about all of this?
Urggggghhhhhhhhhh. This was why I couldnt think for too long on these topics. I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes for a second. I heard stomping and looked up. Meg was pounding through the office and she was headed for the exit.
"Meg!!"
She continued forward and I could see liquid pooling in her eyes. I watched as Derek grabbed her and she shoved him off. Her tears flew and screams filled the air. The team watched her hysterics as she stormed out. I turned towards the team and stared at them. They looked at the door like an alien had stormed through.
"What happened?"
"As if we know!"
Alex stared down at me and I stared up at her. I stomped off towards the breakroom to she what Meg had run from.
I turned the corner and looked into the room. Demy was standing a few inches from Reid and he looked shellshocked. Demy turned towards me and her face was filled with anguish.
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DEMY'S POV
"Meg..." I whispered in disbelief. I had only expected her to be angry, maybe confront me, but not just run off like... Like...
I turned to Reid, my anguish turning to anger, then swiftly slapped him across the face.
"What was that!?" he shouted. "I don't believe I'm the one at fault here!"
I punched him in the arm, but not very hard, considering the left isn't my dominant arm. "You idiot!" I screeched. "I didn't think someone with a 187 IQ could possibly be this freaking stupid! "
"I don't know what you're referring to, Nom," he grumbled.
"Yes you do! You know perfectly well!" I growled, pointing a finger in his face.
"May I ask what, exactly?"
"How can you always just-- just stand there like that when Meg is with another guy!?" I screamed. "I know it makes you die a little inside every time Meg talks about Darcy, yet you won't even be enough of a man to try to win Meg over! Trust, me, it wouldn't take much!"
He just stood there in shock.
"She would be yours in a heartbeat if you would ever show more interest in her than just staring from the corner if the room!" Ness joined in. "Just get your balls out of your schizophrenic mother's purse and make a freaking move already!"
"Um..." he mumbled, a bit weirded out. "It's not that easy..."
"Maybe not, but you could make it a lot freaking easier." I glared into his eyes, yanking his tie a bit so he would be at my eye level. "Go. Now."
"Is this what you've been trying to do?" Spencer asked. "All of the flirting?"
"Absolutely. Ness thought that this would be the best way to get you two together."
"How exactly does that work...? I mean... Then why did you kiss me? What was the purpose of that?" he asked.
I smirked. "Let's just say it was a little incentive for everyone."
"Wha..?"
"It got things moving, didn't it?" Nessa said, grinning.
Reid stood up straight and brushed his hair back nervously. "I'm not sure about..."
"Just go," I commanded, shoving him in the direction Meg had gone. "Show her you're a better man than Darcy could ever be!"
He stared at me for a moment, then almost imperceptibly nodded and ran off.
I smiled in his direction as he left, then turned back to Ness, fistpumping. "Alright!" I laughed gleefully. "This is great!"
Nessa was grinning from ear to ear. "Finally! He's not being such a stupid jackass anymore!" she cheered.
I giggled and turned back where Reid had left, my smile fading. "I hope this works... What if she doesn't--"
"She will!" Ness assured.
"Maybe."
"That would be a wonderful thing to happen for Christmas. Meg and Spencer and a partridge in a pear tree," she sighed happily.
"I'm more worried about the golden rings..." I mumbled, thinking about Darcy's proposal. She wouldn't say yes to Darcy if Reid spilled his guts, would she?
********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I was glad my bedsheets were black. The tears that were falling, turned black as they ran down my face and neck, turning before my breasts to run down my arms. As I was laying on my back, they fell down on the sheets, into the darkness, and disappeared. I didn't have to look at them. And with each evil thought, as it fell from my eyes, soon dissipated into the soft linen. And it was gone. I sat up, telling myself I didn't have any tears left to waste. So what if he...if he and Dem....
He was happy, right? And that's all that matters, right?
Besides, I'll be married soon, and have my own little kids...maybe, Dem and Spence's kids could be friends and....
My heart snapped again, and I gasped, leaning against the wall.
I crawled off to the terrace, determined to freeze myself in the cold December air. What was today? The 18? Wow....Christmas. My first alone. I wouldn't have Emily beside me, nor would my feet be pounding against the stage, and my only indicator of what the day was would be my complaining peers.
"Meg...Meg..."
A hand gingerly touched my shoulder, and I rolled over to face Emily, who was smiling hugely at me.
"Morning, Emily," I sighed, rubbing my sleepy eyes.
"Merry Christmas, baby."
I looked up again, at Emily's smile. Christmas?
"...Christmas?" I reiterated. She nodded.
"What's wrong?"
"...I...I've never celebrated Christmas," I told her. Emily frowned.
"Well then, get out of bed. I have something for you."
Emily lead me out of bed. We'd just gotten in last night, after she had been working a case. She didn't leave me alone then, since I was only a little 14 year old girl with limited English.
I walked into the living room of our small apartment, and gasped. Emily must've stayed up all night as the room was graced with a tall pine tree, covered in shining orbs and strings of lights. The banisters also held the the strands of light, and garlands were strone about the hall. Under the tree were wrapped boxes, with little bows, like packages. Presents? Yes, the girls in the opera house, after seventeen hours of dancing, would come home to the doromitories, to find packages from afar, from their parents on their beds. I never recieved a package on those nights, nor a word from my mother, nor my father. Alone, as always.
"...Emily..." I breathed. "It's...beautiful."
"I'm glad you think so," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. Another one reached out in front of me, a little red box with a silver bow. "This is for you," she said. I took it in my hands, and stared. A gift? For me? For a long time, I didn't move. Didn't say a word. Emily laughed.
"Open it," she sighed with a smile. I didn't.
Instead, I turned, and wrapped myself into Emily's arms.
"Oh," she said, before hugging me gingerly back.
"Thank you," I whispered. It was the only thing I was able to say, and maybe one of the last times I shed happy tears.
I got a red dress from Emily that night, with a black belt and white trim, like a Santa dress, except it came to my knees. Even then, Emily knew me so well.
I remembered the way she had whispered my name...
"Meg."
I screamed, and quickly fumbled for my glock. That had not been in my head, nor was it Emily's voice. As I spun, gun aimed, I found Spencer standing there behind me, hands raised.
"Meg..." he said again.
"How did you..." I asked, leaning against the railing. He walked towards me a little ways, hands gently taking my shoulders, leading me towards the terace chairs.
"I picked the lock," he said, smiling sadly. "Elle showed me how a long time ago. I didn't think I'd ever need to..."
"You didn't," I said. "It's called knocking."
"...Right," he said, smiling. I smiled back, I couldn't help it. I was a slave to those eyes the first time I saw them. My heart fluttered in my chest, just like it always did as he grasped my hands. I remembered every time I spent with him when I was young, every color and touch, all new and foreign to me. It was always so easy to be with him, because he seemed so alone, just like me. Every promise, it just, felt right to be with him, right here. We just locked eyes for a few moments, and I thought of how we could make this moment freeze. How every time I watched a misfortune befall to him, how I died inside. I loved him. I knew that now. And I knew he loved me.
"...Can we talk?" he whispered.
I looked down, cheeks crimson. "Of course," I replied. He was on his knees at my feet, hands grasping mine.
"...Are you going to marry him," he asked. Outright. I looked up, and was shocked. Those soft eyes were hard. Strong and afraid before me. I wasn't going to lie to those eyes.
"Yes," I replied. He looked away, but I brought his eyes back to me. "Don't do that. Why did you come?"
"...I...I want you to know all your options," he replied softly. He was so out of character right now, it was scary. Hadn't just kissed one of my best friends?
"What about Demy?" I asked.
He smiled. "I'll explain later," he promised, smirking.
"....Spencer," I said, slinking from my chair, to my knees in front of him. "I know what my options are, believe me. I'm Meg Giry, if I want something, I'll take it," I supplied, beaming coyly at him, but quickly let it drop. "I'm going to marry Darcy, but I don't love him. Every kiss will be a lie. Every touch because it's always will be you. I'll always love you. It will be you I'll want when I walk down the isle, and when I die. It'll be you I want when I have my first child and you I'll want on my wedding night...but I'm no good for you," I told him. "And if you're as smart as I know you are, you'll stay away from me. Because I'll be gone soon enough, and it's for the best that you forget about me. Everyone's lives would be so much better without me," I said, still smiling.
"Meg, don't-" but his vulnerable expression died as my phone went off.
"What!" I screamed into the reciever.
"Gosh, Meg, you okay?"
It was Derek.
"Yes, I'm fine," I growled curtly. "What do you want?"
"Hotch has some ideas. We need you back to the station. And uh, if Reid is..."
"He's not, I'll call him," I lied, pinching the bridge of my nose, closing the phone.
"What ever we are doing has to wait," I told him rising. "They need us at the station."
___________________________________________________________________________________
NESSA'S POV
I sat in the back of the breakroom waiting for Meg and Reid to come back to the office. I hoped they had resolved some of the issues they had with each other.
Our plan hadn't gone quite as smoothly as we anticipated. We had to yell at Reid before he would go after her. And then Dad had to cut their time with each other short. But dad thought they had found the killer and we needed to get moving as soon as they got here.
I leaned back in the rolling chair and looked at the Christmas decorations that were on every surface. Another Christmas with dad and Jack. I remember that first......................unique holiday.
" I was still getting used to sleeping on a bed again and it felt pleasent after the concrete floor of my cage and the alleys before that.
I was finally finding the blessed land of sleep when my door slammed open.
I heard tiny footfalls and felt a body hit my bed. A cold body climbed under the covers with me and curled into my back. Little cold feet burrowed into my knees and a little head layed between my shoulder blades.
"Nessa!! Come down stairs! Santa came! He came! And the living room is full!"
We lived in a smaller apartment then and we didnt have room for many decorations. But dad had made sure to get a tree and he found a spot on the wall to hang stockings.
I laughed and Jack crawled over me. His eyes stared into mine with he upmost of seriousness.
"Come on. Daddy says we can't open presents without you. And I want to see what Santa brought!"
By the time his speech was over his voice was heavy with excitement.
He was a cute boy and I was gradually getting used to having a small child in the house. In a way he was what I imagined Shell would be like. But for now I had a smallhand pulling me up. Or trying I should say. He didnt have much strength so I was barely lifted off the mattress.
"DADDY COME HELP ME GET NESSA UP!!"
His little voice filled the apartment and I heard heavy footfalls echo down the hall.
Dad's head popped around the doorframe and he stared at me perplexed.
"He didnt wake you up did he?"
I shook my head no and he laughed.
"Okay buddy I'll need you to move then."
Dad scooped me up and set me on my feet gently. He placed a steadying hand on my shoulder and Jack grabbed my leg.
We walked down to the kitchen and dad helped me into a seat. We finished dads pancakes and Jack started bouncing in his seat.
"Hey bud. Why don't you sort presents while I clean up."
Jack scurried off and I staggered into the living room.
Jack was right. It was full with presents. They covored underneath the tree and on the coffee table.
It was magnifecent.
My Christmases at home were pathetic. Once my mom died, Frex lost interest in me and I was forgotten. He forgot about everything. Christmas, our birthdays,or any other significant thing in his life.
Jack bounced around sorting presents and he walked back to me.
"Here are yours Nessie."
I grinned at him and he walked back to his own stack. Dad entered and sat in his chair.
He grinned sheepishly at me and moved over by me. He had Jack open a couple and while he was distracted opened my first.
Inside was...........packs of underwear. And not just any underwear but those lacy things that sluts wore. I leaned as far from the box as possible and he mumbled.
"Damn Garcia! Why I let her pick gifts I know not."
He smacked his forehead and I just stared. At least dad hadn't bought these. But now I needed to kill Garcia. The next presents were the same and they consisted of bras and............other things I didnt need let alone want.
Dad gathered them all and dumped them in the trash. He grabbed a smaller present and sat back beside me.
"I thought something like this might happen so I got you a gift that I picked. He opened it and showed it to me.
He got me a silver locket with a picture of me and Jack inside and a picture of Dad and me inside.
It made up for the embarrassment of Garcias presents and it was a sweet gift.
Dad had pulled me against him and we sat there hugging for what felt like hours. It was a truly sweet memory.
I snapped back to the presennt as I heard Meg and Reid enter the main room. They conversed with the team and I listened to the joke Derek made about them.
I stood up and strode back into the main room. I spotted Meg and Demy standing over in a corner.
".................I didnt mean to hurt you...."
"Ok.....not angry......you.....him.....don't know..."
I caught snippets of what they said and they embraced at the end.
I walked out to the SUV and we got ready to leave.
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DEMY'S POV
I sat next to Nessa in the SUV, staring out the window. Hopefully Hotch was right about finding the killer. I wanted to get this case over with. And get out of this flipping state.
I was glad that Meg wasn't too angry with me, and that she had at least talked to Spencer. See? All Spence needed was a nudge forward. Okay, more like a push. Okay, the man needed a freaking kick! But still, maybe Meg would finally come to her senses too. She could make this a much better Christmas for everyone if she would just give up on Darcy for good. Well, it wouldn't really be a good Christmas for Darcy, but I don't really give a crap about him.
Christmas. How I hated the holiday. Not that I had ever had a traditional Christmas, so I guess I don't really know what it's actually like. When I was little, I would always be so excited, but Mom and Dad would just say, "Shut the hell up, you stupid kid." I got used to staying in my room most of the time. When I got older, Christmas was just considered as a good time to get high. After that, I would just hang out with Cissnei, but eventually, even that tradition ceased, leaving me alone in my apartment. I can't remember one Christmas that would be considered normal by anyone's standards.
We pulled up at some hotel on the edge of town. I trusted Hotchner's conclusion as to where the killer was, but I had no freaking idea how he decided on this place.
We got out of the SUV, Hotch, Meg, Ness, Reid, and I, and approached the entrance.
"Alright," Hotch said, gripping his gun. "Meg and I will go in. You three stay out here and make sure the killer doesn't escape the building."
"And what exactly is your reasoning in deciding who goes in or stays out?" I ask, feeling slightly offended, and a bit curious as to why Meg was accompanying him. Reid would probably be a better choice.
"I need someone who knows how to use a gun out here--"
"Hey!" Meg, Ness, and I shouted in unison.
"I just need Reid to keep you two safe--"
"I can use a gun!" I defended.
Ness slightly rolled her eyes. "And if you fire it, it'll come back and hit you right in the face. You kind of need two arms, hon."
I stomped my foot like a child having a temper tantrum. "Fine," I said bitterly, tossing Meg my gun. "Have fun."
She held it in her hand, wide eyed. She didn't come out of her little trance until Hotch put his hand on her shoulder and said "Let's go." Nodding gingerly, she followed him into the hotel, holding the gun in her right hand.
"I can't freaking believe this!" I screeched as soon as they had entered the building. "I feel so useless! Does he think I'm a kid? Does he think I need Reid to babysit me?" I glared at the pavement of the parking lot.
"Well, your attitude towards me sure has changed in the past couple hours," Reid teased.
"I don't want to hear it!"
We stood out there for a few minutes, I bored out of my mind and fuming, Reid watching the door as if it would burst open any second, and Ness teasing me.
"He's not in here," I heard Hotch through my earpiece.
"Well, we haven't seen him," I replied, followed by Reid reiterating basically the same thing to Hotchner.
"Hm. Maybe he's just not--" A high pitched scream cut Hotch off. Meg. Followed by a gunshot.
"Meg!" Spencer, Ness, and I all shouted.
We shot into the hotel as fast as possible.
*******************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
"Meg."
I spun on my heels, turning quickly, as Hotch's voice brought me out of my trance.
"You take the right and I'll take the left," he said. I nodded gingerly, the gun still in my hand. Demy's gun wasn't my glock, which was at the hotel under my pillow. I didn't go into the field often. I really, really didn't like guns.
I stalked into each room, spinning every so often to check every space. There could be a very scary man in here, who wouldn't take too kindly to a gun-waving, 95 pound, blonde intruding on his space.
I came into the last room, which was shaped like a half-circle. The whole curve of the wall were glass windows, showing us the dark-clouded outside of Texas.
I lowered my gun. "All clear," I told my walkie-talkie, and sighed. "No where to hide in here..." I mumbled.
I am the biggest dumb ass ever.
I felt the hands cover my mouth, and they were rough, dirty hands. I immediately shrank into a ball, luckly landing me out of his grip as I screamed bloody murder, and fired a shot. It missed him completely as I turned and slumped against the left wall, the windows in front of me, but he was eclipsing them. He was tall, and dark, and very handsome. A little scruffy. Very scary. Aren't they all?
"'Ey, Blondie," he said. My gun was high aimed, as he was stalking towards me. I was pressed into the wall as far as I would go, and I was afraid. He just kept coming toward me, that eerie smirk in place.
"Wat's ya name?" he asked me.
My mouth felt like cotton. "I am SSA Megara Jules Giry Prentiss of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI and you, sir, are under arrest..."
I sputtered out the last words, shaking. The name shook his head at me.
"Naw," he supplied. "I don't think so."
Just as he lunged, I did what my reflex was.
I pulled the trigger.
Blood splashed onto my face, the hot, sticky liquid coating me and my dress. I gasped, as I sunk down the wall, and the man's body fell before me. I noted that he had not only been eclipsing the windows, but also a lanky, emotional Dr. Reid, whose gun was still level, his face and hair caked in blood.
"Meg?" he gasped, dropping his gun and running to me. I stood there staring at my hands and he rocked me to his chest. Was he crying? I didn't know.
"Are you okay?" he demanded, tears in his eyes. I just blinked.
"I...I killed a man..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I peeled after Demy and Reid. That scream tore at the eardrums and urged you forward.
We split at the entryway and took two different paths. Reid went left and we went right.
I ran behind Demy and suddenly a body hit me from the side. I turned and dad had started pulling us in the direction Reid had went.
We back tracked and Demy entered the room ahead of us. SUddenly her head reappeared and it was pale and queasy looking.
"Blood............everywhere.............don't go...........squeamish............"
She leaned against the wall and took long breaths. I slipped around her and entered the room.
I expected to find Meg lifeless and cold but what I found shocked me.
She sat with Reid in a pool of blood and her angelic curls were matted with it. It covered her face and stained her clothes. It dropped from her and made her look like an angry goddess of war.
Then Reid looked much the same. His hair was matted with blood and his clothes were soaked in it.
She didn't look nearly as wet as he so I imagined he sat underneath her most of the time.
She sat rocking back and forth and tears carved paths in the blood. Her eyes were nearly as red as the sticky concoction. He sat rocking underneath her and his eyes were just as wet.
They looked like a team against the world.
His gun lay halfway across the room and hers sat in the middle of the pool. The body lay slumped in the floor.
I cringed and stepped over the patches of blood on the floor.
Approaching Meg I didn't know what to do. She looked devastated and I knew it had to do with the kill. She hadn't before and I knew it was eating her up.
She was too innocent to do that course an action by free will alone.
I approached her and knelt down in the pool. It was cool and nasty. I leaned up and placed my head on her shoulder.
Not knowing what else to do I stood up. I quickly backtracked and stood by dad. He yanked me out of the room so they evidence team could clean up. I found Demy leaning against the same wall and she was still taking deep breaths.
I motioned to her and she stumbled over.
"Let's get out of here."
She nodded and appeared quite happy to. We strode out the door and waited by the SUV for Meg and Reid.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEMY'S POV
I'm not usually that squeamish, but I had been scared senseless when I saw Meg sitting in the pool of blood. It was just...scary. I thought that she was... What if she had been the one who was shot? It made me sick to think about it. The though of our sweet little Meg...gone... I was just glad that she was the shooter. She may not have been happy about killing him, but it was for the best.
She was more than just unhappy though... She was in hysterics. I didn't even know how to console her. I knew she wouldn't accept it if I simply said 'It was self defense,' or 'He would've killed you,' or 'he would've killed more people if you hadn't done it.' There was no good way to talk about this kind of thing.
Meg had her head set on Spencer's lap in the SUV, soaking his pants with her tears. He stroked her hair and whispered calming words, but she was inconsolable.
"Meg... It's okay..." Spencer said softly.
"No... I-I k-killed someone... I killed him..." she staggered between ragged breaths.
Nessa didn't know what to tell her either, just biting her lower lip nervously.
"Meg. It was you or him. Just be thankful it was him," I said firmly, staring out the window, not even daring to look at Meg's anguished face.
--
We were on a plane, out of this sucky state of Texas. Finally!
Meg was still detached from the world. I didn't know what else to do. I can't say that it's okay to kill people, because it's not, but there are certain circumstances where it's necessary and there's nothing you can do about it. That's just the world we live in. But that's not enough for her. She sees more than the killer. She sees the person, and that can be a dangerous thing, though admirable. I couldn't possibly know what she was feeling, though. I never had much regard for a lot of humans in the first place, much less for criminals, so I was never upset when I had to kill someone. But Meg...she just looked so guilt ridden.
Spencer stayed by Meg at all times, and she didn't turn him away. Was it that she just needed a shoulder to cry on, or could it be that she would finally accept that they needed to be together? One could only hope. But, gosh, they were just too perfect for each other.
I sighed, leaning on my elbow. I looked over at Ness. "So. I take it she doesn't use guns much," I said, feigning astonishment.
Nessa rolled her eyes at me and I smirked, but it quickly faded. "I just don't know how she's going to recover from this."
"Yeah. She's pretty shaken up," I stated. "You ever kill anyone?"
"That would be a no, and I don't plan on it," she replied.
"Nor would I expect you to." I looked back at Meg and exhaled. "I wish I could do something."
"Reid seems to be doing a pretty good job," Nessa said, winking.
"Yeah," I said, my mood taking a bit of a nosedive. "Our plan worked. We made Meg feel absolutely awful, and now there's another reason she feels awful. Wonderful friends we are."
"Well, at least they're together. That's all that matters, right?" We looked back over at Meg. It looked like she had fallen asleep on Reid. I probably would, too, after crying that much. And leaning on such an amazing guy. But don't tell Meg I said that. Or Reid. And especially not Nessa.
"I suppose..." I mumbled, running my hand through my hair. Which reminded me... "Do I really look like a boy?"
"You look fine," Ness replied.
"Like a fine boy?"
"Demy, you look like a girl. Okay?"
"A boyish girl?"
"Demy..." she growled.
"It's the hair, isn't it?" I was kind of just playing at that point.
"Demy, I swear..."
"Is it or isn't it!"
"Demytra Nom, I swear if you don't shut up--"
"Be brutally honest." I stuck my tongue out.
She giggled a little and glanced at my short hair. "Well, maybe once it grows out a little..."
"So I do look like a boy? Great. How long do you think it'll take it to grow out?" I asked, frowning at one particular brown lock hanging in my face.
"A while. But in the mean time, we could make you a wig out of my hair."
I slapped my hand to my forehead. "No. Just- just no."
She broke into a fit of laughter.
I smiled briefly, then went over to check on Meg. She was indeed sleeping. I sat next to Spencer and leaned on the armrest of the seat. "How is she?" I asked.
"She's just mentally exhausted over this whole ordeal," he answered. "This isn't something that she's going to get over easily. She has always had this pacifist idealism, so this is weighing heavily on her."
"I see." Her face twitched as if she was having a nightmare. I wanted to wake her up, but who knew if she would even be able to get any sleep for the next few nights? I let her be and went back over to Nessa.
*********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
Spence asked to drive me home that night, but I said I could drive. I, of course, took the subway, as usual. I came home, hoping to rest, only to see light peaking out from under my door. Sighing, I plugged in the key and found a rather...interesting sight. Maybe delicious was a better word. Darcy was sitting at my counter top, shirtless, with an oversized white towel wrapped around his waist. He smiled hugely at me, and came and wrapped me in a hug, and basically shoved his tongue down my throat.
"Look whose home," he sighed, pulling me tight, warm hands pushing into my shoulder blades.
"Look whose intoxicated," I murmured, spotting the wine glass on the bar. He's naked under this towel....I shuttered. Not that I minded. I'd considered sleeping with Darcy since that day he'd offered it to me. I mean, now he was clean, and even after toweling up at the police station, and hoping on a plane, I still had blood in the roots of my hair.
"Been waiting for you the longest time," he groaned, sitting and pulling me with him. He started unbuttoning my shirt, which I wasn't bothered with. I was going to do it anyway. I had like...half a tank top on. My bare midriff wasn't like, a huge turn on, was it? Unless Darcy was just some weirdo that likes stomachs. I immediately pictured a drunk Darcy mumbling,"Mmmm!!! Tummy!!" and bit back my laughter. I honestly didn't see that coming out of him drunk or sober. I nuzzled into his neck, and sucked at the flesh there, running my tongue sadly along it. I knew he wouldn't mind, Darcy never did. Darcy would probably let me shoot him, if I asked.
Not that I ever wanted to go through that again.
"How was your day?" he asked me.
"I don't want to talk about it..." I mumbled, wrapping my legs around his waist, pushing up his chin and shoved my mouth against his as hard as physically possible. He agreed with a noise in the back of his throat, and when breaking away for air said:
"I'm fine with that," he smiled, a rare occurrence for Darcy. I didn't give any emotional response, unless you counted my tongue driving back into him, which I didn't. Darcy broke away for air, but my singer's lungs didn't give out, and I moved my lips to trail his jaw, down his neck.
"Miss Giry..." he panted. "You aren't perhaps taking me up on my offer, are you?"
I didn't look at him as I said emotionlessly, removing my flats,"And what offer would that be, William?"
I turned my gaze up, locking my eyes on his, knowing their powerful effect. He stared, his body shaking and panting. I was just playing with him. I was tired, and didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted to forget everything, and maybe sleeping with him would take my mind off that. Murder and losing my virginity in one day. Great.
"Meg..." he mumbled, eyes hungry and frightening. "Miss Giry, I do have some concerns." His eyes traveled to my navel, and up to my chest. "Meg...are you a virgin?"
I nodded, removing my tank top, very melancholy. His hands stopped me.
"Meg...it's just that...Meg, you're so small." He blushed, but stared hardly at me. I hadn't thought about it. I couldn't even get the petite tampons in all the way, how the frick was I supposed to...err....
I hadn't thought about it, how much it would hurt. It would hurt. Darcy was right, I only weight about 95 pounds, and Darcy was about 6'1" with a very muscular build. I don't think I could take it.
I finally lowered my arms, and my top with it. "You're right..." I mumbled.
"Meg," he said, bracing his hands on my shoulders,"I do want to try but...Meg, I just...I want to wait. Until you're positive you are ready. I...I don't want to hurt you."
I nodded, slipping off his lap, and giving him a parting kiss before departing to my bathroom. I stripped, and stepped right into my freezing shower, letting it numb me back into reality. Despite it all, Darcy was a gentleman. I had given him Satan's greatest temptation: Lust, and he had overcame it with ease. I frowned, looking down at my bust. I normally had flocks of men at my feet, and the one time I ask to lay one, they say no. Frick.
I realized that if Darcy wouldn't be my first time, there was one other option...not that I would ever ask that of him, just because I wanted a lay. I loved him too much. Because I didn't love Darcy, I didn't care what I gave him, because I didn't mean it.
Spencer, I would never be good enough for. Spencer was a man to love, not to lay. It was just...wrong. I loved Spencer, and I'd rather spend a night by the fire with him than in some bed.
"I want you to know all your options..."
I was the dumbest girl ever. Regardless, I curled into bed-with a nightgown-that night next to Darcy. We basically slept with a 'DO NOT CROSS' line down the middle of the bed. I woke up, though, and went into the kitchen only to pace up and down. Then I caught sight of the calendar. Christmas? It was freaking Christmas?
"Hey, Megara."
"Huh?" I came out the book I was reading to look up at JJ.
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
I looked down. "I might visit Em, or head up to NY. I have a friend up there."
Lie number one.
"Spence?" JJ asked.
"Oh, I'll be with my mom in Las Vegas," he said.
Lie number two.
I remember us passing glances, both of us realizing the lie, and both of us sending a signal through our eyes: I won't tell if you won't.
I stripped the kitchen bare, and crawled into a nice warm dress, coat and pageboy hat, and grabbed something from the closet. I can't believe I forgot!I stopped to write a note for Darcy, saying I wouldn't be back soon, and not to worry, sparring a kiss for both his forehead, and the letter in red lipstick. I hailed the nearest taxi, and gave him the apartment complex's address, the one place I'd never been.
Picking the lock to his apartment, I felt dirty. This was his place. The place he never allowed anyone. But stepping in, seeing a Christmas tree lit, and a boy sleeping on the couch. I didn't think twice about sitting my things in the kitchen, stripping my coat to be in my nice dress, and curling into his side. He subconsciously wrapped his arms around me, and I quickly fell asleep.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I flumped into a chair in our living and stared wistfully at the tree.
Meg and Spencer wouldn't be joining us at Rossi's this year. We had a Christmas tradition now of celebrating at his and we tried to keep it up.
I knew that Meg wouldn't visit Emmy and I doubted she had a friend in New York but I could come up with no reason she would skip this year.
And Reid I didn't know why either.
Had we offended them that much?
Demy was coming this year and I had fun finding a gift for her.
It was a locket with a picture of her team and our team. And then a collection of all the FMA novels. She had been addicted when I first met her and I hoped she still was.
I had a gift for Meg but since I wouldn't be seeing her, I buried it in my closet.
It was two tickets to Paris.
I accumulated a bunch of flyer miles and had bought the tickets with them.
I figured if she wanted too she could take Darcy...........or hopefully Reid.
I knew she would probably turn them down but the last time she had been in Paris hadn't been pleasent. I wanted to try and make up for that catastrophe.
I heard footsteps behind me and I looked down into Jacks little face.
"Daddy says I can stay in here tonight to watch for Santa!"
He grinned and pulled himself up next to me.
Dad did this every year. We would watch for Santa and dad would come thought the back door.
Jack would chase him out and Dad would hand him the presents. It was very cute.
I smiled and he snuggled into me.
"Sissy, I'm glad your better now. And if Robby tries to get near you Ima punch him!"
He spoke with such conviction in his small voice. We had told him that Robert had hurt me. We hadn't told him what all happened but he knew Robert wasn't supposed to be near me.
I grinned and he grinned back.
"Come on short stuff! Let's watch TV while we watch."
He turned it on and the Christmas Story was on.
I giggled at the bunny pjs. I had loved this movie as a kid and mom had gotten me a pair of these when I was six.
Jack was soon asleep and I watched out the window. Snow was blanketing the yard and it looked beautiful outside.
I sighed and slipped off into slumber.........and cliche as it sounded dreams of sugar plum fairies that looked a lot like Meg.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEMY'S POV
I arrived at Rossi's a little later than expected. Rose had decided to rip the green and red shirt I was planning on wearing to shreds. After had I picked up all the pieces and found something else to wear that was warm and easy to put on using one arm, I was on my way.
*********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I felt a finger trace my jaw gently, then a thumb running over my cheek, pausing to drip over my lower lip. The index brushed my eyelashes gingerly, as if not wanting to move them, and the thumb once again took a turn to rub my under eye and lid.
"Mmmm..." I breathed, nuzzling into warmth, and body that was so perfect, yet so foreign still to me. I pressed my face into his neck, humming as I bucked up his chin with my head. He mumbled in my ear incoherent murmurs and promises. Maybe in his sleep, or maybe he was conscious. I myself was still floating in a dreamlike state.
I'm surprised he hadn't questioned my being here. Or maybe he thought he was having a nightmare, or was sent to hell. I wouldn't put it past him. Meanwhile, I had to be dreaming or died and gone to heaven. Had I really did what I thought last night? Packed up and came to sleep next to Spencer for the holidays?
This was Spence, right?
I inhaled, and tingles of electric shock were sent through my body as I breathed in coffee and cotton, old parchment and soap. Spencer. I smiled, and buried myself deeper, to which I heard him make a groan, low in the back of his throat. I noticed then how warm our bodies were, flushed together from our body heats. The tree's lights flickered, sending out a warm view. The sun hadn't risen, and it had to be around four a.m. One of my hands gripped the front of Spencer's tee-shirt, the other was on the back of his neck. Both his neck and my hand had little beads of sweat on them. I ran my finger down the nape, and he shivered. Goodness, I loved him. My legs were twined with his, and I was surprised the ball of us hadn't rolled off the couch.
Ball.
I remembered a story Spencer once told me, when I first came. I'd read about it in France- this story was the inspiration for the musical My Fair Lady.
"Greek mythology says that humans were originally born with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."
"And that explains love, doesn't it?" Fourteen-year-old me crooned. He smirked.
"Yes," he'd told me,"yes, that was their reasoning behind it."
I pursed my lips. "Do you believe it?"
"Do you?"
"...I don't believe in Zeus, but I do believe that's our purpose on Earth-to fall in love. To live."
Naivety. I was dripping with it back then. Now I wondered why I bothered to live, but being fourteen again sounded pretty good, especially if my idea of perfect was this. This was still perfect, because Spencer was perfect.
Lips brushed across the shell of my ear, sending shock waves down my spine, and out all over my body.
"Sp-Spencer..." I breathed into his neck. He immediately stiffened.
"...You're awake?" he asked. I nodded quietly, fingers grasping and ungrasping his grey tee.
"I...I got here last night," I mumbled, licking my lips to keep them moist. It was too warm, lying here next to Spencer. Of course, I didn't mind. "Er, tomorrow morning. Wait, it's tomorrow, isn't it?" I asked, scratching my head. Spencer's light laugh poured out of him, and it echoed in his chest, shaking my little body that was melted to his.
"It's too early," I pouted, burying myself into his chest. "Don't make fun of me."
I was the smartest blonde I knew, sometimes. Other times, I could be the dumbest for miles around.
A strong hand buried itself in my hair, taking time to unravel tangles, until it traced down my jaw, tipped up my chin. Blue eyes met startling brown, and I was once again locked in their warmth. I could live in those eyes. I knew I could.
"I'm not making fun of you," he promised, smiling shyly and sleepily at me. I returned the lazy grin, and remembered something.
"You must be hungry!" I announced, popping off the couch and into his kitchen. In the glow of the tree, now that my eyes had adjusted, the kitchen was just like everything else in Reid's apartment. Steel greys, beise, the occasional plum or lavender. Browns weren't common, but were there.
"I brought some food for dinner," I said, digging through his fridge until I found the egg cartons. "That is, if you'll let me stay and cook," I whispered, not daring to turn. No response came as I turned on the stove top, placing the pan on top, and cracked the eggs. I started making them scrambled, how I knew he liked them. I sat quiet for a minute, no noise coming but the quiet hum of the gas burner. I jumped as two warm arms wrapped around my waist, and a chin found residence on my shoulder.
"How could I stop you if you wanted to stay?" he whispered in the shell of my ear. My hand flew back to grasp his hair, to hold onto whatever this dream was. I didn't want to wake up next to Darcy, not now, not when I felt this slipping away. To my surprise, I burst into tears.
"Meg?" He asked, alarmed. I shook my head, pushing my hand into his chest to keep him away. But he was smart, and -used my hand as leverage to pull me back to him.
"Meg?" he asked again. "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to wake up!" I sobbed. "Don't let me! Please don't!"
"What?" he asked. I started to sink to the floor, but using what little strength he had, drug me to the bar stools at his counter.
"I-I-!!" I was sputtering now, and wasn't able to talk. It's a dream, I thought, all a dream. "I-"
Fierce lips cut me off. It was less of a kiss, and more Spencer trying to drill a whole through my face, but none the less, I was stunned and enthralled. It took me a moment as I pressed firmly on his shoulders to get him to break loose.
His lips were blotchy when he pulled away, staring hard, but still smiling. I put my fingers up to my lips, feeling their puffiness. I glanced at my reflection on the stainless steel refrigerator. They were bright red and slightly swollen. Maybe this wasn't a dream....
"Now do you believe this is real?" he whispered quietly. I nodded slowly, then turned my attention back to Spencer's breakfast.
I'd fed him, and then proceeded to start on Christmas Dinner. I'd raided my pantry for it last night, and I hoped I'd grabbed everything.
"This is your first Christmas alone, isn't it?" I heard behind me. I paused as I was pulling a pan from the drawer.
"Yes," I mumbled quietly. "You spend every Christmas alone, don't you? You never visit your mother."
"...Yes," was heard behind me. I nodded.
"I'd like to meet her," I told him. He sighed. "Spencer, I've tried twice! Every time we have a case in Las Vegas you never let me go see her!"
We'd had two cases in the last year. Each time, I'd tried to sneak off to meet Diana Reid, but to no avail. Spencer watched me the whole time, never letting me go see her. The team didn't know about it, but I wanted to meet this woman, and thank her for giving him. Especially now that he's all I've got.
"Meg, please understand-"
"I don't care if you think she's weird!" I screamed, turning on a heel,"Or if you thinking meeting her will change my opinion of you, because it won't! I want to meet the woman that raised you and made this amazing man I have now," I said, smiling. "And if I have to go behind your back to thank her, one day, I will."
Spencer's face softened, then flushed red. "I'm only worried about one thing now..." he mumbled.
"What's that?" I sighed impatiently.
"...I wrote her about you. I don't think my description did you justice, and she'll notice."
I smirked, my hands falling off my hips as I playfully smacked him.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked after a few minutes. I was stirring a pot on the stove when he came up behind me. It was around noon now, and Spencer was eating a sandwich. I shook my head.
"Not really," I replied honestly.
He pursed his lips, looking ever so adorable.
"You want something to drink?" he said, rising to his cabinet, pulling out bottles. "I have red wine-wait, you're nineteen, you don't want-"
While he was flustered, trying to put away the alcohol, I'd uncorked the red wine, tipped back the bottle, and swallowed probably the contents of the neck of it. Spencer stared. I tried to beam at him, but quickly turned away from him, sputtering.
"Yuck!" I growled, wiping my mouth and going for water. "How do you drink that?"
"Meg!" he yelped, coming to my side to steady me. "How much did you-" he stared at the drink. "You drank the whole neck!"
"Sorry?" I said.
"No, it's fine, just...Meg, you're so small, it won't take much to get you drunk. I'd say about four or three beers...you're probably just buzzed..." he mumbled, dragging me through the halls.
"The cooking..." I told him, trying to get away, insisting I was fine. I was fine. Just a little...clumsier.
"I can cook. I've lived on my own since I was...well, I've been independent for a while."
I nodded. He lead me into a room, and sat me on the bed.
His bed?
I grasped the sheets as he undid the top few buttons on my dress, so I wouldn't choke or anything. Not that I minded. I held his hands, and pulled him forward next to me, smiling huge.
"Yep, you're pretty buzzed..." he mumbled, eyes creased with worry.
"Is this you're bed?" I whispered. He nodded.
I took that in, pursing my lips. I leaned over to kiss him, but he stopped me.
"Just lay down for a few minutes, just a half hour, okay? Just...get some rest."
I pouted. "Come stay with me," I whispered to him, tugging on his shirt. He smiled sadly.
"I'll go take the food off the stove, and I'll be back," he promised.
I sat in his bed for what felt like an eternity. My dress suddenly felt too small and too itchy and very, very hot. I wanted Spencer next to me again, to kiss me like he did in the kitchen, to hold me like he did when I woke up. I wanted everything about Spencer, and I pray he wanted me. I undid more buttons, and soon shucked off my dress, just wearing a tank and boy-shorts in Spencer's bed. I didn't think he would mind. I'm sure he'd seen me in less.
Scratch that, I know he had.
I curled into the sheets with my hands between my thighs to keep myself warm. Spencer's bed was very soft, but felt too big and cold without him next to me. I was starting to doze when I heard the door creak open and closed again. The bed sunk with the weight of another body, and I curled into it, immediately finding soft lips waiting for me, and greedy hands.
My heart flew in my chest, beating much too fast. I held Spencer much too fiercely and tighter than I should. I need to know he was real, and I think he was doing a damn good job proving it. He broke away from our kiss, and I stared.
"Meg? Can we talk?"
I groaned, kissing him lightly again, then giving him my attention.
"It's about yesterday-"
I froze.
"The plane ride?" I said nonchalantly. "I never thanked you for that, I'm sorry. I'm really glad you held me like that..."
"Meg-"
"Thank you," I begged him not to say it.
"Meg, I'm talking about the shooting."
I looked down. "Why?" I whispered.
"You...you know how the blood shot on both our faces?" he said. I nodded slowly, letting a huge sob shake my chest.
"Meg...I fired my gun too."
I didn't look up.
"There's no way to tell who shot him first," he said. "Meg, I could've killed him-"
"It doesn't matter whether or not I killed him or not," I said. "I shot with intention to kill. And it makes me just as bad. I swore coming into this job I wasn't going to murder anyone. And I broke that promise."
He didn't say a word, but sadly and reassuringly shoved his lips back onto mine. I took the kiss quietly before curling into his side. We didn't move from that position until the sun rose again on December 26th. He made me get up, knowing I had amends to make with my actual boyfriend.
"You want me to keep dating him?" I asked.
Reid pursed his lips. "I...I want you to wait till his proposal."
"I'm going to say no anyway."
Spencer smiled, letting his hand drag up my side. "You're such a heart-breaker, Miss Giry. Give the poor kid a chance, or at least let him think he does."
I stooped up to kiss him, then left in a black tee that belonged to him and my own tights. Coming in to my appartment, Darcy woke up, rubbing his eyes mumbling:
"It's so mean for them to make you come in on the holidays..."
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