Ya know, I've tried my hardest to keep my guard up with Kaiden. Like Meg has told me to do. He says things that make me want to really fall for him and before I do I close me eyes and chant to "Not give all the heart". But Meg, it's getting hard. It's getting so hard not to. I can feel the wall I've built up starting to crack. Soon, it's going to fall, and so will I. I've said, "I love you" and meant it, I've said it and NOT meant it. I started out saying it not meaning it, but thinking I did. The longer we're together, I realize I didn't and I regret saying it back. But, now, I really think I do. It grows every time we're together. And, I can be myself around him. With everyone else I've said it to, I've had to act like someone I'm not. I'm not afraid to be myself with Kaiden. I'm not afraid to make a mistake, or embarrass myself in front of him. But Meg, as much as I want to obey your wishes, part of me wants to fall for him. Part of falling in love is giving up part of your heart to him. In order for me to fall, I need to let him in. Not keep myself guarded. You need to trust. I'm... I'm going to let him break the wall. He's already put a dent in it. He just needs a little more. If he leaves, which pains me to think about, then it'll be another mistake that I thought was the right choice. It happens. To me, quite often. But this time, I actually feel it.
Crystal Poppin
And you'll feel it again, when this ends. And, when you meet another boy, who fixes it, you'll feel it again, and again you'll get broken. But I guess that's part of life, huh? You're a pretty resilent girl, and Crystal, I've very proud of you. I guess it's hard for me to watch you grow up, after I've picked you up from falls. But I am. You've grown up into a beautiful young woman and I am so very proud of you. I tell you not to give all the heart because I have before, and I refuse to let myself do it again. 'How can I love when I am afraid to fall?'-Christina Perri
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