Thursday, November 8, 2012

IGNORANT BLISS CHAPTER 5

MEG'S POV

The leaves crunched under my ballet flats again, making the oddest sound ever. Sorreli laughed, her bronx-meets-Italy accent scrapping my ear drum. I stumbled, and almost dropped all my textbooks. She laughed again.
"Never thought I'd see the Prima Ballerina tripping over her own feet."
"Hush," I said, putting hand to my temple. Her amused expression turned to unwanted concern.
"Hey, babe, you gettin' one a your headaches?"
"No, no," I said. "Hey, will you take my backpack to the room, please? I want to go take a walk in the fields."
"You gotta drive some while for that babe. Besides, it's gonna rain."
"No, it won't."
"You always say that, Meggie, and it always does."
I didn't listen, ignoring the fact she was right, and shoved my backpack to her, and making toward the parking lot. It was Friday night, and I didn't have plans. So, as usual, I walked to clear my head. The librarian here owned a farm not far, and she let Sorreli and I-her volunteers-spend time there. I used it to clear my head. I rarely caught sight of others there, only three or more students had access to it.

I found my peace of mind, and of course, that was when Sorreli walked up.
I groaned.
"Hey, Megara."
"Sorreli, when I say I want to clear my head, I mean alone."
"It's gonna start pourin' soon, babe. Figured I'd take you home."
As I opened my mouth, a droplett found my lower lip, and danced down it slowly. Soon, we were caught in a horrid downpour.
"C'mon!" I yelled through the rain, taking off running, Annie behind me.
"Babe, be caref-"
But her voice dronned out as I slipped and tumbled all the way down the hill.
"Meggie!" she yelled. I tried to stand four different times, and each time I fell. I groaned in pain.
"Annie...I-I can't stand. Go get help."
Sorreli took off running, flailing her arms wildly. To my luck, a gentlemen on a horse came by, and she attracted his attention. He came running over and I died a little at the man.
Will Darcy.
His deep brown eyes bore into mine, looking down at my ankle to me.
"Do you mind, Miss, if I assess the injury?"
"No, no, not at all," I choked.
He pulled up my leg, and pushed back my dress hem to my mid calf. His pale hands ran up my leg and back to my ankle. I swallowed. Sorreli just stared from a distance, holding his horse's reigns, eyes wide.
"It is not broken," he said. "Do you find it untoward if I carry you back to town?"
I shook my head.
"Where are you staying?"
I pursed my lips, frowning. "What time is it?" I asked. He told me seven at night.
"The training academy. I need to get to the BAU."
***
The team was back already, and I frowned. I just needed Penny to take me home, and I figured I could do so without fuss. However, when you have the most mysterious, attractive man on the face of the Earth carrying you bridal style into the BAU while both of you are soaked the bone, you are going to get some looks. Reid rose from his chair, and my face turned crimson. Sorreli came in after me.
"Meg?" Nessa screamed. I smiled, but winced.
"Hey..." I said.
"She's sprung her ankle," Darcy said. "I didn't know where else to bring her. Can one of you supply her with transportation?"
"I can," Nessa said. I would've facepalmed if I could. Darcy pursed his lips, not sure about what to say of the armless girl's driving.
"I got her, man," Derek said, taking my ninty-five pound body like it was a feather. Darcy handed me over. Before turning to leave, he looked me in the eyes, and I melted.
"I hope you do not mind, Miss Giry, if I inquire about you tomorrow."
I swallowed. "Not at all."
"When shall I come?"
"I...er...Just call before...and I shall tell you..." I said. He nodded and left. Leaving Sorreli to stare and say.
"That was freaking hot."
I then facepalmed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
We were all sitting in the office minus Meg. She was at school and we were here waiting. We were going to tell her tonight about Emily coming to America for a month. And Madame Giry was visiting. We hadn't told her yet and we didn't want her to freak out. Or kill us. Knowing her she just might kill us.
" I heard the door open and a very hot man walked in with Meg. A young women followed behind. I freaked out. After the last mission if she got a scratch she was sat down and guarded. I couldn't leave her alone.
"Megera!"
The very cute man asked if any of us could provide transportation and me being me decided to show the blond roots I has dyed.
"I can!"
Meg smacked her face and I smacked my head, mentally of course.
Derek walked over and grabbed her and the man said goodbye. The girl, Sorreli I presumed, commented on how the looks of the man. Reid stayed back and you could see him trying to restrain his jealousy until he got all the facts.
I decided to get the facts from this Sorreli girl.
"So who was the hotty who walked Meg in?"
"Old enough for it to be statutory rape."
"Gross! I meant the name though."
"My name is Sorreli. I though you knew that....."
"I meant the guys name."
"OOOHHHHHH. It's Darcy, William Darcy."
"The book character?"
"No the person."
"Mathew Macmayden?
"Nope"
"OOOHHHH."
I walked off to Penny and noticed she was glaring in the direction Darcy walked off.
"Whats up Pen?"
"I want to kill that cheap book character ripoff."
"Why?"
"He's a threat to baby boy."
"You can't just kill whoever threatens Reid."
"Why not?"
I ,mentally, slapped my head. This day was going to be long. I could tell.
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MEG'S POV
Penny found me a cup to wring out my hair in, and Reid gave me an over-sized purple sweater to wear over my soaked white dress (which, I had found, became see through. William Darcy carried me in a see through dress. Kill me now.)
"So, you gonna tell us?" Morgan said, sitting next to me at the conference table. Though the team had just returned, an urgent case was waiting for us. I texted Sorreli, who had already left, to tell Darcy I would be gone tomorrow. I would miss him calling on me. I honestly wanted to see those dark eyes again.
"Tell you what?" I asked, looking up from my file. Reid was frozen like a robot to his.
"Tell us who that hunk of testorone was carrying you."
I blinked, and my face turned crimson, and I looked away. "Umm...he...he's a boy from school...I-I don't know him all that well."
"What's his name?"
"...William Darcy," I crooned, staring off into space.
"He's hot."
"Yes, thank you JJ for that," Penny growled. I looked up at her, confused.
"Yes," I said,"he is rather attractive...not that it matters."
"Why doesn't it matter?" Nessa asked.
"Why...why would a man like that be interested in a girl like me? He's 24 years old and...he's so...mysterious and dark and lonely."
"Mysterious, dark and lonely?" Derek asked. I stuck out my tongue.
"Oh, hush!" I said. "Let's just get on the plane!"
"You gonna call him later?" JJ asks.
I smirked. "Only if he calls me."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
Poor Reid. He was practically green with envy. It was obvious Meg liked flirting with Darcy. I could understand were Reid was coming from. He was 31 and Darcy was 24. Meg was nineteen. Why wouldn't she go for the younger man. Darcy would always be there when Meg got back. Reid was in the same job. He could easily get killed on the job. Darcy was normal and wouldn't embarrass Meg in public with knowledgeable displays. I still felt bad for Reid. He was obviously in love with Meg but she seemed quite content to be with anybody else. I knew this could affect the job at any time so if she planned not to be with him she needed to tell him. Not lead him on like this. The whole team agreed and we planned to bring this up. We couldn't control Garcia for much longer. She was going to kick Meg's ass and we wouldn't stop her. I lovedMeg but she was killing Reid. He had lost that little pep he had gained when Meg was rescued. He looked like a kicked puppy that had been abandoned in the countryside. He was lost at sea and couldn't find his way home. Meg was his lighthouse and she was off duty. She was his pacemaker, his insulin, his bayers. She made his figurative cogs spin. I noticed he wondered off from the group again and I decided to follow.
He wondered off to our luggage room. We had couches and a tv along with suitcases and our clothes. He plopped down on an old lazy boy and I perched on the arm. He rubbed his temples and I quietly asked.
"Are the migraines returning?"
"Not as horribly but yeah."
"Poor thing."
I leaned against him and he leaned against me. This may seem loverly but it truly wasn't. He was like a little brother that needed protection. I was the sister that always lended a shoulder.
"I swear it's like she wants to hurt me the most she can."
"No she's just flighty. She can't physically make up her mind."
"It just kills me inside."
It hurt me to see him break down so easily. Meg had really done a number on his self confidence. He truly believed he was the worlds worst choice of boyfriend. I wanted to resent Meg for it but I couldn't. She truly didn't realize what she did to him.
"Nessa, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You don't have to help me. I've cried in private enough."
"Spen, you are the little brother I never had. My little brother was murdered at age 4 months. I love the idea of having you. If you ever need help just ask. And please don't start Dilaudid again. I would never forgive myself if you did. If you ever consider it, just remember all of us."
I pleaded with him to understand. Dilaudid was never the way to go. He sighed and I felt his breathing deepen. He was asleep. He looked like I imagined Shell would look. He was a innocent child asleep. The stress marks disappeared. Penny came back and saw Reid asleep on my shoulder. She smiled and motioned that I could relax for now. They could review the case without us. I felt the tears still dripping down my face. She threw a afghan over Reid and helped move him a bit. He layed his head on my lap and I propped my feet underneath me. I felt myself drift off and the last thing I remember was Spen whimpering Megs name in his sleep.
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MEG'S POV
They stuck me in the luggage room like...like luggage! Morgan sat me on the couch opposite sleeping Reid, flipped a blanket over me, and told me to rest. He left.
I was alone, with a man that I possibly loved, and if loved him, it would endanger us both.
Since I couldn't do much else, I tried to sleep.

Big mistake.

It was dark again, and I was caught in the same dream, running to wherever he was.
"Meg."
Spencer's voice reverberated off the walls of the dark space and back to me.
"Spencer!" I yelped, and ran to him. His thin arms, so frail, yet so reassuring, held me tight to his body, and I felt the most safe I had ever been.
"Spencer..." I breathed, my breath quickened,"I'm scared."
"I know...I know..."
"Someone's coming," I hissed, holding tight to him. He tore my fingers from his sweater and backed into the darkness.
"Spencer!" I screamed.
"I'm sorry, Meg, but you didn't choose me..."
"Spencer! Spencer?!"
"Spencer!"
My body flew up, and I was sobbing uncontrollably. I heard someone's gasp next to me, and the squeak of sneakers, even across the carpet.
"Meg?" Familiar arms flew around me, and I flung myself at him, despite the groaning in my ankle. Sobbing hard and holding on to him, but he tried to push me away.
"No! No!" I said, holding tighter.Eventually, he gave up, and kneeled next to me, letting my sob horribly into his neck. "Don't leave me again..." I whispered. He pushed back on my shoulders, and I started crying harder as he pressed my hands to my chest, away from him.
"No!"
"What is your deal?" he hissed, eyes red-rimmed. I sobbed harder, not sure what was happening.
"I'm sorry!" I spit out, not sure what else to do, but then I couldn't shut up. "I know it's selfish, doing this, but I can't. I can't not be next to you, and having you protect me. It's not possible for me to live without you. And that's why...that's why we can't keep doing this, smiling and pretending we're normal when we're not, Spencer! We're not normal!"
He glared. "You mean I'm not normal."
In that instance, I think my heart broke. "No..." I whispered. "N-no. Spencer, if we do this again, if I ever said how I felt about you, I'm certain it would only end in heart break, as my life always does. I-"
My phone blew up in that moment, with a default ringtone of Alexandre Desplat's Dreamcatcher. Both of us were silent before Reid reached for it, and answered it.
"Hello?" he said shortly, then frowned. He outstretched his hand to me. "It's for you. It's Darcy." he spat. I swallowed, and reached for the phone.
"Hel-hello?" I asked nervously.
"Good morning, Miss Giry. I trust your flight was to your liking?"
"Indeed." I said.
"Very well. When do you expect to be in town?"
I did the math in my head. "At the most six days, maybe. Maybe more, maybe less."
"Well, will you do me the honor of calling me so that I may call upon you? I would very much like to take you on a horse-back ride sometime, Miss Giry."
My body melted as I thought he and I, flush against one another, galloping along the greenery....
"You have my word," I said, smiling bright.
"May I inquire on your ankle?"
"It's fine, fine. I assume I shall be on my feet soon. It's rather embarrassing to be couped up like this," I admitted.
He laughed and I gasped, my heart fluttering.
"Is something wrong, Miss Giry?"
"Not at all," I said.
"I am glad to hear it. I shall see you later, then."
"Later," I replied. And the phone went to silence.
Reid held out his hand for the phone, and I placed it there.
"You need your ankle checked soon, by the way. I wouldn't trust that boy with your body in a second. Err..." Reid's face stayed angry, but darkened to a cherry.
"Well, Doctor, why don't you look at my ankle, if you're so much better than he." With a drawn-out moan, I pushed my leg toward his face, holding it there. His eyes bugged out, as they traced down my moon legs, and I smiled evilly.
Reid cleared his throat, and looked at me before touching me, as if asking permission. I nodded sarcastically. He frowed, and his pale, strong hands lingered on my ankle, running over it and turning over it, and shivers were sent up my spin.
"Well?" I asked after a few moments. He put one hand on my ankle, and the other on my bare knee, and pushed them back onto the couch. I swallowed.
"...It's, uh, sprained," he grumbled. I laughed.
"You're no better than he," I teased. Reid looked at me like I'd slapped him.
"What is wrong with you?" he asked.
I was taken aback. "Me?" I hissed. "What of you? Running around-"
"Don't do that again. Interrupt me. I'm tired of you interrupting me, okay?"
I shrunk back into my chair. "O-Okay..."
"What do you want, Meg?"
I stared, and he reiterated the question, hissing it.
I didn't reply.
He, therefore, climbed over me, leg's straddling my sides. Our noses were pressed together, and his dark and angry eyes staring me down. I was breathless.

And then he did what I always wanted.

He kissed me.

His lips were fierce against mine, pushing back so that I hit my head on the lamp behind me. He broke it by pushing off my shoulders, and jumping off me. I stared at the ground, touching my lips.
"Well?" he asked. "Not what you expected, was it?"
I didn't say a word as tears ran down my face.
"Was it your first kiss?"
"You idiot," I spat through the sobs,"do you have any idea how long I've been thinking of that."
"I'm sorry I ruined your first kiss," he growled,"I'm sure you can have Darcy come and kick my ass if you'd like. I'm sorry he wasn't your first kiss, like you wanted."
"You idiot!" I screamed. "I wanted you! I've always wanted you, you ass hole!" I screamed. He stared. "That's why I have to be with Darcy! If we get into this, one of us is going to get hurt. This can't happen. Because one day, you wont come home to me, or I wont come home to you. How good is that? Two broken hearts? Spence....I just....I can't do that to you. Okay? I'm sorry..."
His honey eyes were just sad now, and wide. Pathetic. He was shocked, and he left me there alone, to sob and let my heart just die.


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NESSA'S POV
The rest of the team was sitting in our makeshift office. We were trying to figure out the best way to tell Meg that Emmy and Madame Giry arrived tommorow and that we were shipping them here to spend time with her.
We sat there contemplating when Reid bolted out. His eyes bright red and feet stumbling. Agent Sophia happened to walk right into him as he turned the corner. Papers and limbs flew. Sophia, the epitome of dainty grace gave a ladylike shriek as she hit the ground. She was 5' tops and weighed all of about 95 lbs.She had hazel eyes and cornsilk colored ringlets. She had cream skin and freckles that stood out against it. Her signature feature was her beauty mark right above the lip on the left side. Morgan and JJ hurried over to help.
"Damn pretty boy! You bowled over Sophia real good there. What's got you in such a rush?"
Reid shrugged him off and walked back to Agent Sophia.
"I'm very sorry for bowling you over Mrs. Sophia."
"It's okay. I've always been a klutz."
Reid grabbed her arms and hauled her up while JJ collected the papers.
I decided to go check on Meg and see how the leg was. I walked in and she was sobbing. I rushed over and kneeled down by her.
"What's wrong? Does your ankle hurt that badly? I'm sure dad would drive you to get that checked out by a professional."
She shook her head but never vocalized an answer. She was quite hysterical. Im sure it has something to do with Reid running out of the room. I glance at her again and I see her lips are puffy. Did he......kiss her? God then what happened? Did he have his way with her? Did she have her way with him? Did aliens probe them both? Now I had to know! But for now I needed to calm Meg down.
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MEG'S POV
Nessa laid her head on my shoulder as I sobbed, unable to do anything else.
"What happened?" she asked softly. I shook my head, and wiped my eyes. "Can I do anything?"
I nodded. "Can you go get me some clothes? I'm sure Dr. Reid wants his sweater back."
She nodded and wandered off. When she came back, she brought me a long pink frock with a cinched waist, and a bow on my butt. I wished I had packed black in my emergency bag. It would be appropriate. I'd always hated pink. I curled my hair Marilyn Monroe style, and did my lips bright red, my eye crease purple, all with dark eyeliner and mascara. I was tired, and I wanted to go out tonight.
I wanted to get away. From everything. Dancing on a sprained ankle might not be the best, but it was better than nothing. I took four tablets of ibuprofen, hoping for numbness.
Ness helped me out of the room, and Agent Sophia's eyes were inches from mine, and she smiled the smile and always seemed false.
"Oh, SSA Giry, I-I was coming in to check on you."
Or poison me. Whatever.
I'd always disliked Sophia. Whatever the reason, everything about her seemed fake. From her beauty mark to her ringlets to her freckles. I just couldn't stand her.
"Thank you, Sophia," I said stiffly. My arms still wrapped around Nessa's waist, I tested my ankle, and had to bite my lip to keep from crying.
"Meg, don't," Nessa warned. But I had too. I took my arms from her waist and tried to stand, only falling with a wail. Derek caught me. I smiled weakly.
"Don't try that again," he said, frowning.
"I will," I said. He glared. "I should be back on my feet in a few days! I'm just...just trying to ease into it. I can do it."
"That's it," Reid said, standing. "I'm taking you to a doctor."
"Spencer-"
"No. C'mon, put your arms around my neck."
"Spencer, you can't just-"
"You think I can't lift you like your precious Darcy?"
I stared. "Reid stop. This isn't the place."
"Whatever. Mess up your leg. See if I care." He stalked off, and I frowned.
"Blake?" Hotchner asked. "Will you take Meg and Nessa to the hospital, to get her leg looked at?"
"Of course. Derek can you carry her to the car?"
"Yeah," he said, slipping his arms under me. I was so numb I didn't care. Numb all over my body. Numb in my soul.

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NESSA'S POV
Derek grabbed Meg and hauled her downstairs while Alex and I followed. She was an idiot for trying to walk on it. We loaded into the car and I sat in the front with Alex. Meg laid down in the backseat and we propped her leg up with the extra jackets in the car. She looked kinda woozy. It was probably from the 4 aspirin she took. Alex glanced back and saw Meg's face. She pulled over and handed Meg a bucket from Halloween. Meg lurched and emptied her stomachs content into the plastic pumpkin. Alex pulled her hair back with a clip and patted her on the back. Meg laid her head back while Alex emptied the bucket in the ditch. I sighed as Alex pulled out again and we arrived at the hospital. Meg had only tossed her cookies twice more. We asked one of the male nurses to cart her in and he obliged. We were assigned a cubicle and Meg was stripped and placed in a paper gown. It was Winnie the pooh. She looked like a childs doll in it. The doctor, Dr. Ashley Guarnchelli walked in and plopped on her chair.
"So tell me what happened........Megera is it?"
She pronounced it wrong and it came out Me-Jer-a. Meg filched and corrected her on the pronounceation.
" I was running in the rain and I slipped and fell."
" I'll need to run some X-rays but I think you just sprained it. Have you had any painkillers in the last 4 hours?"
"Yeah I have."
"How many and please don't lie."
"Four."
"Okay, we'll get you set for X-rays and the nurse will be here soon to get you."
Sure enough the man who brought Meg in came to get her and me and Alex sat here in silence.
Soon enough Meg got wheeled back in and the doctor followed.
"It's exactly as we thought. A simple sprain. We do want to ace bandage it and give you some crutches however."
They fixed her up and got her the good pain medicine. Alex and I helped her to the car and we drove back to the hotel. Alex got a phone call and she made a quick upturn.
"What was that all about?"
"Your dad called. They want us to meet them at the new crime scene."
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MEG'S POV
I changed out of the disgusting paper gown they put me in, and back into my silk frock. Once in the SUV, I threw the crutches in the back.
Nessa glared.
"What? The boot will help. I don't need them," I said, gesturing to my bandaged ankle. It was keeping it aligned.
"Besides," I said,"I want to go dancing tonight."
Alex's turn to glare. "Are you nuts? You'll injure yourself further."
"I don't care," I said, smiling,"I just want to dance and dance with complete strangers and pretend I'm in another world. I'm sick of lying around here, bored out of my mind. I'm going to a club tonight, and all of you are welcome to join. I'm dancing, and singing, and mingling! I hate being social but I'm going to do it and it's going to be amazing!"
The girls rolled their eyes, but I smiled. I'd won. The whole BAU was going clubbing.

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NESSA'S POV
What Meg didnt think of was that neither one of us was of legal age to club. She was 19 and I was 16. She was really blonding it up. Plus my dad is a member of the team.
(Later)
I can't believe it! Dad helped me get in! How the hell did Meg convince him? He all but told Morgan to sneak me and Meg in like we were his sluts! WTF? We had to hang off his arms. God me and Meg were pissed! I hated the fact that the rest of the team just laughed at our expressions! I was just ready for this to be over!
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MEG'S POV
God, I love over the counter drugs...Ibephropen is my angel.
Anyway, slinking off of Morgan's arm didn't bother me that much, because I got a lot of looks from men around the bar-which was what I was hoping. Talking to Reid today made me realize the inevitable-1) I wasn't going to live forever and 2)I needed to find a man that could make me happy. Fast.
Granted, a bar wasn't the best place.
It was pumping, loud music, with sweaty people in hardly any clothes. Not the jazz, coffee houses I was used to. I looked over at Reid and Morgan, who already had a hoard of girls surrounding them, some slut twirling Reid's tie. His face was red as he excused himself to our booth, and pulled out a book, and sipped the coffee he ordered. I didn't order anything to drink, just in case something was fishy about this place....
I sat on the corner of a table, smiling and watching and laughing with JJ and Nessa, when JJ pointed out a boy. He was around 21, with a snug white turtle neck clinging to his slender body with wide shoulders. He had on black pants, tight fitting in the thighs, and loose in the legs. He had a cup of something steaming-tea or coffee or hot chocolate, and a think physics textbook on the top of the bar. He had round Harry Potter like glasses, and short messy hair, the color of dark sand. His hazel eyes kept glancing up at me, and he was chewing his lip nervously. I bit mine too, hiding back a smile. He was perfect. He looked at me again, and saw me looking straight at him. I'd changed into a lace-fitted top and a short black skirt.
I waved timidly, and he reiterated my motion. We kept looking at each other, and I hopped down off the counter and over toward him. Sitting in the chair closest to him, I leaned over his shoulder at the book.
"Hermitian matrices, huh?" I asked. He looked at me. I took his pencil, and began the sketch of the triangle, and solved the linear algebra problem in two seconds. He stared.
"Might be wrong," I said. "I'm horrible at math."
"How did you-"
"Been in advanced classes since I was, er, 14." I said. He smiled, and even his white smile was perfect. It was just so...ordinary and plain. Perfect.
"How...how old are you?" he asked.
"How old do you think I am?"
He took this as an excuse to look over my body, and flicking his eyes to my breasts and back to my face, he turned a shade of pink. I smiled.
"Seventeen?" he asked.
"Nineteen. You're...twenty-one? Studying to be an...engineer? No...what kind of scientist?...Seeking NASA?"
He blushed and nodded. "And you?"
"I'm a profiler for the BAU."
He laughed. "Explains a lot. What else can you tell me about myself?"
I pursed my lips. Honestly, I could tell him a lot of sad things about his childhood, but I wouldn't.
"You're quiet...have been since, what? 3rd grade. You're an over-achiever, which is fine, because I am too. Anything less than a high A would disappoint. You've never liked math, but need it for your profession, and literature is just kind of there, you don't dislike it, but don't love it. Science intrigues you, because you have questions. You've liked it since a very young age. You often strike-out with women, and you simply came here to try to get away, but watching the dancing was boring and procrastinating your homework further would just be pointless," I said, solving three more problems. He stared. I looked up, my eyes feigning innocence. "I didn't scare you, did I?" I asked.
"N-no, no...not at all..." he looked down, pushing up his glasses, and smiled nervously again.
"What's your name?"
I smiled. "Megara Giry."
"Megara...what are you? German?"
I frowned. "Do not mistake my accent for that horrid language! Ugh!"
"I'm sorry! What-what are you?"
I looked out of the corner of my eye, still pretending to be angry. "...French..." I said, looking over though my lashes, then laughing. "You couldn't have known that," I said.
"What's your name?"
"Liam Mortinson."
"Liam," I said, trying it out on my tongue with my french accent. He stared at me, in awe. He took a sip of whatever he was drinking, and came out of it with whipped cream on his bottom lip. I giggled. "You got a little..." I motioned to my mouth, and then his, but he was confused, and I reached forward, gripping his chin, and stroked his lower lip with my thumb. I was making a concentrated face, my lips slightly parted, and then I bit them when I pulled away. He was staring at me, in total awe.
"Do you...do you wanna dance," he asked, motioning for the dance floor. I nodded, and he led me out, as if in a ball room.
But this was no waltz.
This kind of dancing wasn't dance, just disgusting grinding and other unmentionable things, that did not fall under the category of my beloved art. Liam was flush to me, his hands on my hips, swaying and pressing me tighter to him. My arms were in the air and my eyes closed as we were thrown this way and that by sweaty bodies. This was almost like a high. An amazing, foreign experience that I would NOT be doing again anytime soon.
Liam's hands shifted to my ass, and pressed forward so that we were pressing in...most awkward places....Chest to chest, stomach to stomach, hips to hips....I'll let you imagine the rest. I shoved back a little, but he was so much stronger than me. I pulled at his hair, but he only took this as incentive, pulling me tight, he did something so...so disgusting and vile...grabbing parts of me that should never be touched. I shoved him back. And then, he pressed his disgusting lips to mine. I screamed, and pushed back, only to see something that would only be stuck on his desk with a caption reading:Meanwhile, in a parallel universe....
Spencer Reid had Liam by the collar, and punched him in the face. I screamed, my hands at my mouth. Reid yanked me by the arm after punching him a few more times.
"We're leaving," he said. I just nodded.
Reid stuffed me in the SUV, and we drove off.
"What about the others?" I asked, seeing there was no one else in the car, or following us.
"They'll come home when they're ready. I don't want to interrupt their fun just because a naive girl got raped."
That was like a slap to the face.
"What did you think would happen, Meg?" he asked.
"Did you think you could dance with him, waltz-style, he'd call you back next week? Say he'd move to Quantico for you? No, here's what would've happened. He probably would've incapacitated you, raped you, and if you were good enough-which, trust me, I'm sure you would've been-continued a 'relationship' until you got pregnant. Then he would've left you alone with a child you wouldn't ever be able to abort, or give up for adoption. You would have nothing."
I didn't say a word, just listened. I didn't pay attention as Reid hauled me up to his hotel room, pushed me in and locked the door.
"Why'd you do it anyway?" he said, ripping off his shirt. I only saw his bare back as he turned, and I watched him a pull a grey-cotton tee shirt over his head. Turning back to me, he leaned up against the wall by the door, and I stood in front of him.
"Attention? Did you honestly want a relationship."
All I could was think how adorable Spencer looked in that shirt. I fingered the collar, and placed my hands on his chest, rubbing where his heart was.
"I like you in tee-shirts...you look so...comfortable...and cozy," I said, leaning on him. He pulled my head back, gripping my chin, and I stared into his honey eyes. Without hesitation, I pressed my lips to his. His hands went to my waist, pulling me to him. My hands were in his hair, twining through the brown locks. Our lips fought one another's violently, each wanting to consume the other. He, though, eventually pulled back, and laughed darkly.
"Don't you think you've had enough kissing for one day?"
He went into the bathroom and came back in sweat pant-Capri's. I smiled at him. He didn't do anything, but turn on the TV, and mute it.
"Just for the light?" I asked. He looked at me honestly, and for the first time in a while, without anger, and nodded. I nodded to.
"I don't want to go back to an empty room tonight..." I said. He flipped back the covers and gestured to them.
"Then don't," he said. He tossed me something-his white button up. I slipped into the bathroom, and put on the over sized shirt. You could see my black bra and panties through, but I honestly didn't care. No pants, just the over sized shirt, I slipped under the covers next to Reid, curled up next to him, and fell asleep.

And I didn't have a nightmare.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
While most fo the team was dancing I decided to sneak off and call Robert. The only problam was I need someont to dial. I motioned at Penny to follow me to the bathroom.
"Hey can you help me call Robert?"
"Of course ducky!"
We diadled Roberts number on my Iphone and the dial tone played for all of about 10 seconds.
"Hey Nessa."
"Robby, so how was the wrestling tourney?"
"Amazing! We got first place! I do wish a certain brunette could have been there though."
"Miley Cyrus?"
"Obviously I wanted Miley Cyrus at my wrestling tourney."
Sarcasm dripped from every word in his sentence and I couldn't help but break down in giggles.
"God Rob, I swear you will be the death of me. I haven't had this much fun with a guy in years."
"Good. I was hoping I wasn't boring you to death."
"Nope. I'm quite engaged."
"Good. I didn't want to be as boring as the scrawny dude at your office."
I frowned at this.
"Do you mean Spence? Because if so that isn't very nice Rob. Spence is like my little brother."
"I'm just saying he is as wacky as a fruit loop and as boring as daytime television."
"Why are you acting so cruel today? Have you been partying with your friends?"
"Noo just a couple friends and dads liquor cabinet. Say could you do me a solid and send us some 'material' to peruse?"
"Why would I send you a nude of me? My aunt could find it in a heartbeat."
"Quit being such a prick. No one will find it. Or is it because you ain't got no tits?"
"You pig! I wouldn't send you a nudy if it was my life on the line!
"Quit being a bitch!"
"I wear the damn pants on this relationship! You were the faggoty short shorts!"
"No that faggot Reid does!"
I shook my head and motioned for Penny to end the call. God Robert was acting like a bitch tonight and I don't stand for that shit. I wore the damn pants and he wore the faggoty tights that were short shorts. He knew that was how it worked. God damn it now I was ready to thrash that boy. He could insult the rest of the student body for all I cared. Bit when it came to Reid he was the little brother I had to look out for. Speaking of Reid, he and Meg had disappeared. God had they gotten drunk and left to do the Deed? Lord now I see them naked! Ugh now I just wanted to go sleep. Me and Penny loaded up and we drove back to our room. I was supposed to stay with Meg but she had the key. So now I get to sleep with the hyper one who stays up till 4 in the morning. Damn Meg you better run!*******************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
Waking next to Reid, was the subject of all of my daydreams since age fourteen. I never admitted to myself how I felt about him...I just...there was something amazingly beautiful about Spencer Reid. My fingers dug into the tee shirt he was wearing, and I nuzzled under his chin, until I found his lips. We sat there, for a long time, lips consuming one another, quietly and gently. He pulled back with a laugh. I frowned.
"I believe some one is becoming an addict..." he slurred. I sniffed his breath, and jerked back.
"Did you drink last night, Spencer?" I asked.
"...I ain't bad drunk, Meggie..." he said, holding his head.
"Okay, now I know you're drunk when a man of a 180 IQ is making grammatical errors," I screeched. Everything...every touch and kiss last night...it wasn't him. He was drunk. I hadn't even noticed. I tumbled out of our bed-er the bed. Not ours. Nothing was ours.
I slipped into the bathroom and fell down the door, biting my hand to keep from sobbing. He hadn't wanted me last night. I didn't even question his manner and condescending attitude, just because I thought it was some sinful gift from God. Why was I so stupid? Why would he ever want me. He could do so much better. My phone rang, and I sniffed right before I answered.
"Hello?" I asked shortly.
"Meg? What's wrong? Is something the matter?"
Darcy..."Darcy!"
Wow, I'm intelligent.
"Yes, Miss Giry. Is something wrong?"
"Er...No! No! Not at all! Why?"
"You sounded...never mind. Is your case coming to a close?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you much. I honestly haven't been working it. From unconscious in a hotel room to a hospital."
Crap! Unconscious in a hotel room? What am I thinking? I meant the other night! Not last night-ugh!!
"Er, I uh, I meant they left me in the room, to sleep, so I could heal my ankle. Didn't want me working."
"Of course," he said, amusement tenting his voice. I frowned, but smiled. It was the first positive emotion I'd ever gotten from him.
"I promise I will call you the moment I board the plane," I said.
"I shall be eagerly waiting your return, Miss Giry."
The line clicked dead. I melted a little. William Darcy...Mrs. Meg Darcy...A lovely ring to it, don't you agree? Darcy....I could learn to love a man like that....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I slumped in the dining room at one of the Formica tables. Pen had kept me up till 6 this morning playing Skyrim. That women was too damn loud. My head ringed as my dad set his coffee cup on the table. He looked at me concerned.
"Why did you leave so early last night?"
"Robert ticked me off and I didn't want you guys to suffer. Speaking of which have you seen Meg?"
"Yeah. She was stumbling into her room."
"Gotta go then."
I hurried up the stairs to our room and kicked the door viciously. I heard her talking and she shrieked Darcy. i was furious! the little tramp ran off with a inebriated Reid and now she was giggling at Darcy! I licked harder and she hung up. She appeared at the door and there was a hickey on her neck.
"God you tramp. Did you enjoy Reid last night? Did you know he was drowning his sorrows in rum? Did you know he won't admit that he was considering Dilaudid again? You can't just go back to him when it suits you! Garcia and I can and will kick your ass! You think we didn't notice you sneaking around with Reid and then flirting it up with Darcy? You'll be happy to know that Reid has options outside of you! Sophia. She loves Reid more than you ever seem to. She worships the ground he walks on. And he's taking notice. He may have slept with you but it was nothing more than a one night stand! You were nothing but a easy lay! Now listen to me! You will leave Reid alone and you will tell him he should pursue Sophia! If not we will set him up with someone who deserves him!"
I stomped off. God she was a tramp! I kicked at the sidewalk and slumped against the wall. I was pissed at last night and I was PMSing. Maybe I should apologize. NO I must stick to my guns! She was the one in the wrong! She slept with Reid while he was drunk and then she flirts with Darcy. Maybe I should just take a walk and clear my head.
****************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I stared. My mouth was open, and I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself again. I was furious.
I flung open the door Nessa had ran from, and started through the lobby.
"Meg," Derek asked,"What's up with Nessa-"
But I was out of the lobby and into the street. The armless girl was walking glumly down the road when I caught up with her.
"You think I slept with him?" I growled. She kept walking. "I never...you know that!" My eyes were watering from the cold and my rage. I didn't care.
"And he didn't know he was drunk. He only got coffee last night, at least I cared enough to notice. Where were you? Talking in the bathroom with your good-for-nothing boyfriend. He's always thinking about Dilaudid, by the way, Nessa," I screamed, spitting her name out of my mouth like poison. "He'll never stop. I try and try to talk to him and keep him happy when I can't. Have you ever even considered once, my side? Have you ever considered once if I admitted to myself that if...if I loved him, he'd be as dangerous as any drug? Or didn't you notice the gun aimed at my head on Coney?" I was sobbing, she had stopped, looking down, taking the beating as I had taken mine. "And by the way, I don't flirt. I live in the real world, Nessa, where it's called talking. And Sohpia? Really? No...you think I'd ever let him near her-"
"What, you can have other options but he can't?" she screamed, looking into my eyes with fury.
I stared. "No, okay? He can't. Because I couldn't stop loving him. It would break my heart to lose him and there would be nothing to stop me from picking up that gun again..." I was sobbing. I felt a hand on my arm pull me away. Derek. Hotch was pulling Nessa from behind, away and toward the SUVs. I looked back, they were all outside. I swore in French.
"And by the way," I said, turning when Derek opened the door,"and easy lay? That was low, Ness. I've heard from everyone, that I'm just whore, even before I've ever touched a man. Ever kissed one. The 'hickey' on my neck? It's a bruise from how hard I pressed the gun into my neck. And you can't tell me what to do. I love you, babe, but I swear, you can be a real PMSing little bitch."
I got into the back row of the SUV, ignoring the looks everyone was sharing. Blake climbed in next to me, and didn't even look. Reid rode in the other care. I prayed to God no one had heard that I threatened to hurt myself. That no one heard that I'd admitted I loved him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I snuffled in the backseat while dad scolded me. Why did no one see the injustice in this? Meg could flirt and flit and it was okay. But if Reid even looked at a girl hell broke loose and Meg threatened to off her self. There was no justice for Reid in this. He broke just as much as Meg claimed to. Then the rest of us had to stick him back together. I looked down at my moms cross necklace I wore. I sometimes wished she was here because she would know what to do.
"Daddy I want to go home now."
"The case isn't over sweety."
"I'll stay with Beth. I just need to cool off far from Meg."
"Fine I'll get your ticket."
1 hour later and I was boarding the plane. I would start at my private school again tomorrow and after school I get fitted for new prosthesis. I waited while we flew and I looked at my tablet. I'd opened it up to pictures of Me and Meg. My favorite was when I was thirteen and we were sitting under the huge oak in dads backyard. I smiled and I felt the tears well up. What had I done? I had crushed my first true friend. I had the attendant put away my stuff and I fell into a fitfull sleep.
-I was standing in a pool of blood. And a gun laid beside me. I looked around and saw the team dead. I looked at my hands and they were colored in gun powder. I ran over and shook them but it was no use. They were stone cold. I looked a little farther and I saw their wives, children and the like all shot too. I shook my head and they all disappeared. I fell down and shadows poured over me. I looked up into the face of Robert. He hauled me to my feet and planted his lips on mine. He pushed harder and I fell into a wall. He ripped my skirt and roughly grabbed my ass. I flinched and begged him to stop. He ripped my top and I begged harder. I felt something rip him off of me and I crumpled. The person pulled me into a hug then ran.-
I woke up as the plane began its descent. I tried to stop crying so Beth wouldn't be alarmed. She was waiting and pulled me into a hug. I saw her belly had swollen to small balloon size. She pulled me to her car and we started the drive to her house. I sat in silence while Beth sang with some pop song. I wondered how the team was doing. They were probably having a party to celebrate my going home. The sound of Beth's sing lured me into a dreamless sleep.
I awoke on Beth's couch. She must have brought me in. I looked up into the actual Roberts face.
"Hey babe."
He slurred and I looked up disgusted
"What the hell do you think your doing here?"
"Visiting my baby doll."
"You bastard! Thinking you can march in here like nothing happened."
He slapped my cheek.
"Listen good bitch. I don't like you. Never did. But you do look like a good lay so ill stay till then."
"Go away bastard!"
He slapped me again.
"And how are you going to make me leave?"
I kicked at him and he easily dodged.
"Now I hear Beth. We are going to make it look like we having a great time. Understand?"
He raised his hand and I shook my head. God was Meg right about this bastard all along? He took my makeup and put it on my cheek. Beth walked in a couple of minutes later and we were both on the couch. I sighed and slumped away from him. Never thought I'd be one of those bitches.
**********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I didn't cry after Nessa left, because I knew I didn't have any tears left to shed. I hated the fact that even after I had explained best I could, she didn't understand why I couldn't be with Reid. I guess they were all right. I was nothing but a slut. I let that sink in, and instantly regreted everything I'd done recently. I didn't realize, when I left to chase Nessa, I wasn't wearing anything but Reid's shirt. Everyone thought I'd slept with. I hadn't. I hadn't touched him. Maybe Spencer would always be like a brother....
No, he was more, always more.
Blake found me pants, and I shamelessly pulled them on, wrapping my arms over Reid's see-through button up. Reid's pea coat found its way around my shoulders a few hour later, and he stood next to me, facing the whiteboard.
"Hey," he whispered quietly.
"Hey," I said, coloring at the fact he was so close. His face looked uncomfortable. I didn't know if this was because he was drunk, or if he knew I loved him.
"Hangover?" I asked. He looked at me, but I didn't look at him.
"I'm sorry, Meg, about everything. About last night-"
"Don't say last night like something happened, because it didn't. Not between you and me. You saved me from some stupid college boy, and I have nothing to do but thank you relentlessly for that. But can we talk?"
He nodded reluctantly, and pulled me into a supply closet. It was tight, and we were chest to chest, and nose to nose. I squeezed away, so that I was at the end of the room, and his back to the door. We had about two feet between us. Good.
"I'm saying this because you deserve to hear it, and so no one can say I didn't tell you. No one can call me a slut for this reason, ever again."
"You said you loved me," he spit out. His hands flew to his mouth, and his eyes went wide. I worked to hard to keep my expression straight, and not to collapse in sobs. I wavered a little, but stayed hard.
"I did," I replied.
"...Do you?"
I looked away. "Spencer, I want it clear that no relationship was established formally between us, correct?" I asked.
His eyes trained on the ground, he nodded.
"Do you feel at all as if I lead you on? Answer honestly."
"...I did think I was more..."
I kept my eyes down as I said,"you...you were...and you are..." my voice held no emotion, as I made my acting skills keep it that way. "I said I loved you...and well, I meant it. But, Spencer, nothing can come from it. I won't let it. Loving you would be the most dangerous thing in the world. I'm not good for you, Spencer. You can do...so much better...." I choked. My eyes turned angry as I spat. "So you can tell everyone that I never lead you on, okay? And I told you there is nothing between us. Okay?"
He didn't say anything. It was an awkward slip, but I got out without meeting his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Spencer, but I won't let myself love you. I won't hurt you like that."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
Robert left and Beth walked over.
"Did you and Robert have fun while I was gone?"
"Yeah, Sure."
"Ookkaayy, If your sure."
I rolled over and buried my head in her shoulder.
"Bethy are you preggers?"
"Yeah but don't tell your dad."
"It's kinda hard to cover your belly up."
"I know but I want to tell him. Call me old fashioned but it's the right thing to do."
I laughed despite how serious the situation was before this. It was so funny how she was in to proper values.
"So how far along are you?"
" 10 weeks give or take a couple."
" How have you been hiding this for so long?"
" You guys are out a lot so it's pretty easy."
I stared at her. She seemed happy but I knew how easy it was to hide from your emotions. I leaned against her again and She pulled me into a hug. We sat there like that for awhile and she seemed content with it. I looked at her and saw the similarities between her and my mom. I pulled back.
"Beth would you like me to stay till the baby is here? I could try and help you with whatever you need."
" You don't have to Ness. I could always get my sister to come down and stay with me."
"No I want to stay. Meg won't want to see me again and I won't go where I'm not wanted."
" You know that isn't true. You and Meg are like sisters."
" More like were. She must hate me after what I said. I called her a whore and a easy lay."
"Apologise and explain yourself. I'm sure she will listen."
"I'll just stay with you for right now.
She shook her head and walked off to the kitchen. I guess the heart to heart was over. It was different. I didn't remember my mom so this was all new. I laid back on the couch. Maybe explaining to Meg would work. Nah she would kill me if she saw me. I'll just wait till she has calmed down a lot. Like at least a month.
*********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I got on a plane the next day. I couldn't stay, not anymore. I'd tried after Coney, after my almost-rape, after doing so many things for the BAU, I couldn't stand to look at the people who resented me, after I'd done so much.
Especially those honey eyes. I couldn't look at the blame in them. I couldn't look at the yearning. I had this deep wanting to change my major and just become a psychologist, but doing couples-therapy just seemed low after studying law-a most hated subject of mine.
Stalking into my apartment, I screamed, and ran from the person sitting on my couch.
"Meg! Meg, baby, it's me!"
My shaking hands lowered my gun, and I slipped out of my kitchen and back into my living room. I took in the sight of Emily Prentiss, and smiled sadly. She wrapped her arms around me.
"Can we talk?"
All I answered her with was my uncontrollable sobbing, to which she had been the first woman to listen to.
***
Emily woke me around 10 the next day, because I honestly never slept later than five without an alarm. She knew then something was up.
"Penelope's been calling me over the last couple months, and so has Derek, telling me everything. But I figured I'd finally come to the source."
"So your just here to inquire," I frowned.
"No," she said, wrapping me in an embrace,"to comfort...and inquire." I laughed.
"Okay, question one," she said,"are you dating Reid?"
I sighed. "I kind of was, but it was a more of an 'it's complicated' thing, and now we're fighting and every one thinks I'm a whore and-"
"Whoa, babe, slow down. Who thinks your a whore?"
"...Everyone..." I mumbled, wiping my eyes.
"Well then, everyone is stupid and wrong." I smiled at her. "Question two, who is William Darcy?"
"...A boy from school. I sprained my ankle this week. He found me, and brought me to the BAU. He keeps calling me, to ask about me, and that's kinda why everyone of my friends thinks I'm a hoe. What am I supposed to do? Say,"Hey, I can't ever talk to you because no one lives in the real world. Because, supposedly, if we're talking, we're sleeping together.", every time he calls? No! It's not my fault! I never once said I was dating Reid and I never once said I was dating Darcy! Everyone thinks I'm sleeping with both of them-"
"Are you sleeping with one?"
"Of course not!" I screamed.
"What do you want?" she asked me. I chuckled darkly.
"Since when does that matter? It's just going to get me hurt and some one else hurt."
"What do you want?" she reiterated.
My lip quivered. "Spencer," I admitted, cheeks turning red.
"Then go after him."
"It's not that easy, mom!" I screamed. "I'll get hurt, he'll get hurt! I'd...I'd just break  his heart. That's all I'm good for, anyway. I'm an easy lay. Just like Nessa said. That's all I'll ever be to men. Just another stupid blonde to fuck..."
"Don't talk like that," Emily said.
"I know, I know, language-"
"No, I meant selling yourself short."
"Oh, so I should sell myself for more on the street corner?"
"Meg-"
"I'm going to bed," I growled.
"You just woke up!"
"I know! I'm not stupid!"
***
I woke up again, around midnight, because my stomach was upset by my not feeding it for quiet some time.
"Mom?" I whispered into the darkness. Turning on the kitchen light, there was a cup of coffee with a note on it.
Meg,
I made you coffee, two teaspoons of sugar with hazelnut creamer, just like you like.
I went to the BAU. They came back today. Going to have a talk with everyone about what we said.
Love you, baby. Please don't be mad.
Mom.

I stared, horrified. To make matters worse, I sipped the coffee, and it was still freaking hot. She just left.
Tringler...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen.
"Good morning Ness."
"Good morning Beth."
She set a coffee and plate of eggs in front of me.
"Your dad got back last night. Emily also got in. She called everyone to a meeting at like 1 am. You were excused. Now you need to get ready for school."
We went up stairs and she bathed and brushed me. I got dressed in skinny jeans and a oversized sweater. I paired it with grey knit uggs. Time for my first day back at school.
I walked into James School for the gifted and I saw my friend Mindy standing by my locker.
"Nessie! You're finally back from the dead!"
"Nope I'm in the dead zone."
She grabbed my books and walked with me to Honors English III. We both had similar career aspirations. I looked up at my least favorite teacher. Her name was Madame Morrible. She learned over me.
"Do you have the papers you owe me?"
"I already turned them in Madame."
She snarled and marched off. Me and Mind winked at each other. She motioned for me to come over.
"Get your sexy ass over here bitch."
I walked over and she smacked me on the ass. We dissolved into laughter and I sat as the bell rang. Class dragged on forever and me and Mind whispered the whole time. Mind's mom led her own team in the BAU. I had known her since I got adopted. She had comforted me my first year here. She was adopted from China. She was as short as I was but she was skinnier. She had waist length black hair and milk chocolate eyes. She was rowdy and very crude. She and I could act very sexual and it didn't mean anything. I still missed Meg though. Mindy grabbed my stuff and we wondered down to the lunch hall. Maybe things would get better with time.
*****************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
Okay, I didn't drive a lot. I was a friend to most forms of public transportation, as well as hand sanitizer. I didn't like taxis, but buses and subways, yeah, I'm good.
So, with nothing but a sip of too-hot coffee and pure fury and panic on my end, I hopped into the car which Emily had bought me when I turned 16-A huge Volkswagen van, painted a bright blue-I was probably as much a threat as any drunk driver.
Not that I was good driver in the first place.
When I got to the BAU, I ran into Anderson, who I had never been so happy to see.
"Anderson! Thank God, where is my-"
"Shes with the team in the conference room..." he said, dazed.
"Tringler!!" I screeched, and ran past him. Like, ran. Faster than the flash on 5-hour energy.
Okay, not that fast.
But, legitimate, I ran.
Bounding into the room, every one's head swiveled to see me, and I cursed again. (In French).
No one said a word as I looked from face to face, until I saw my mother. She had said everything, already. I could just tell.
"How could you?" I asked, breathless.
"Meg-"
"It was none of your business."
"You were so upset-"
"You just made everything worse! Okay? I'm not supposed to vulnerable! I'm supposed to be the strong one. I've survived everything that's been thrown at me and I would've sucked it up and survived this if you'd left it alone. This is my life. You can't just screw around with it and tell everyone how I feel!"
"Meg-"
I almost said something I would've regretted forever, but I didn't. I wouldn't do that to Emily. Not after she'd been the only one left.
"Is this is just what's supposed to happen in my life? Everyone turn away from me? Or am I doing this all to myself?" I asked.
Penelope started,"Meg, why didn't you tell us you weren't with him-"
"God, Penelope, you knew nothing was going on! The same with Jason and Jace and Boq and everything! Why would I ever act that way toward a man I actually liked? So what, I could find one who likes little hoes? That's what I am, isn't it? Coming to realization was slow, and I'm sorry."
"Meg-"
"Don't," I turned on Reid. "I don't want to hear pity. Not from you. Because I don't deserve that. I never wanted to hurt you, okay? I don't...I don't even remember how this whole thing started anymore...What? Darcy bringing me in that day? If I could go back, trust me when I say I would let myself rot." The emotion in my voice was pitiful, and I was sobbing. I was so serious. "I would rather die right now, than ever hurt you again. So I'm leaving. For good."
Spencer stared. "You...you can't..." His voice hardened as he yelled,"That won't help anything at all! You leaving...it's worse than you not being here! I was never mad at you! I have no idea why everyone is making this big fuss okay? It's all speculation that I wasn't apart of. Was I upset when Darcy was carrying you in? Yeah, but I was only mad at myself that I couldn't be there to save you. I can never be that knight you deserve."
I stared. "God, you are so stupid," I growled. He stared. I took a step forward. "You have no idea what you mean to me, do you?" I asked. "You are so perfect...you deserve so much better than a whore like me. I really am sorry."
I turned, but before I left, Reid said:
"I told them everything!"
My hand paused on the door handle.
"...What you told me in the closet. I told everyone everything. No one's mad, Meg. Because I'm fine."
"I'm not going to hurt you," I whispered, and left. I'm not coming back to the BAU.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I sighed. Time for the class I was dreading. Psychology. The only class I had with Robert and not Mindy. I was not ready to face him after last night. I wondered how Dads meeting last night went. I had a feeling Beth hadn't told me everything. Oh well if it was important I would find out about it. I sat in my seat and waited for class to start.
"Hey babe. How you doin."
"Go away Robert."He shook his head and pulled me onto his lap.
"Let me go!"
I pulled against him and he suddenly let go. I fell off him and onto the floor. I growled and got up into my seat. I sat there in silence through my favorite class that was now ruined. I got out of class and met with Mindy.
"Hey can you turn my phone on?"
"Sure!"
She booted my phone and held it to my face. I looked and saw a message from last night. It was from Emmy and I was excited to hear it.
"What happened to the girl I used to know? You really hurt Meg. I can't force you to apologize but I'm very disappointed." That condescending tone hurt. Emmy was like a second mom to me. Her disappointment hurt.
But it was the truth. I bit my lip and blinked my eyes trying to keep from crying. Mindy pulled me against her.
"Don't cry baby! I'm sure everything will turn out fine."
"Easy for you to say. You don't even know what's going on! You couldn't possibly know."
"I know it seems that way but I'll always be here for you. That's what friends are for."
"I don't deserve friends. All I do is hurt them. I hurt Boq, Glinda, Meg. Soon enough I'll hurt you too."
"Babe I won't let you. You mean to much to me. I'm sure Meg will understand if you apologize and explain your point of view to her."
"No I've pretty much burned the bridge back."
"Then damn it! Build a better bridge back! Make it more stable and fire retardant!"
I hiccuped and felt the last few tears run down my face. No more tears could I cry.
She pulled me into a empty classroom and we sat on the floor huddled together.
*******************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
"You gotta do it some time."
"I know."
"Just get it over with."
"I don't-Hey, what are you-"
"Hey, Darcy!" Sorreli's accent was even more horrid when she was excited. So, when I moved back in last night, she's sounded like a New Yorker on wacky jacks.
It was around ten a night, which was later than I ever stayed up, but Sorreli wouldn't shut up, making me miss my apartment more and more.
"Hey, yeah, Megara? Oh, you know. Actually, she just came in! It's late and she didn't want to call ya, but I said,"That Darcy, he's a pawty animal! Babe, of cawrse he's gonna be up!" She smacked her gum, and I face palmed.
"Meg? Yeah, she just got outta the shower. She's in a towel, all drippin' wet-"
I threw my book at her and she screamed. I think I may have just blown out his eardrum.
"Hey, here she is!"
She chucked the phone at me, and I wanted to throw it back, but it was too late. I stared at her.
Imagery. she mouthed.
Yes, because I want to talk to the hottest boy at school with a raging erection. I sighed.
"Megara?"
"Darcy," I said. "We didn't wake you, did we?"
"I wouldn't worried about being tired after listening to Annie talk," he said. I couldn't help but laugh.
"She does have quiet the voice..." I agreed.
"God-given, bay-be!" she screamed. I laughed.
"May I see you tomorrow?"
I looked down, and sighed. I weighed my options, but with Sorreli nodding and everything in me saying no, I did what came natural.

I said yes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
We sat there in silence when suddenly she stood up. She grabbed and yanked me to her car. She put me in and got in herself. She started the car and the radio kicked on. Then the most appropriate song ever played to describe circumstances. It was a rock song and it had an edgy feel to it.
"Maybe you’re just too upset inside to give it to me straight
Maybe you’ve become too angry and too close to crying to say anything I can understand
Or maybe you’re just coming in over my head
Maybe you’re just too upset inside too upset inside
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
You’re never gonna square with me I know so what is there to say?
There’s a million words that we could share tonight
Why do you walk away?
And I could write you off and it’s over with like a damaged car I can’t afford to fix
But everything inside me wants to heal your pain
You won’t explain
You won’t explain
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt if I don’t understand
How can it hurt, how can it hurt
Well I don’t understand
Well I don’t understand
Tell me how can it hurt
Well I don’t understand
Tell me how can it hurt
Well I don’t understand"
This was the most fitting song I had heard about me and Meg. It did robed us perfectly. I wanted to understand but she wouldn't let me in. I didn't know how often I had bared my soul to her. She barely ever said what she felt except when she yelled and ran off. I didn't understand her issue with Reid. He should be the unhappy one of the two. She should be shitting rainbows. Maybe I should go see her and apologise. I would call and ask when I got home.
*********************************************************************************
MEG'S POV
I don't know what dying feels like, but I always imagined something that reminded me of snow.
If you could lay in snow that was falling in slow motion, that wasn't cold, but was still...just had that feel to it...yeah. And everything is relaxed and heavy. That's my version of death.
That's how it feels right now.
I lay on my bed, as Sorreli was sleeping (and thanks to her mouth guard, not snoring) soundly in the corner. I lay there, my eyes adjusted in the dark, staring at the ceiling. I didn't know what it feels like to die, but I imagine it's something like this.
My phone broke the beauty and silence of it, as technology usually does, vibrating under my pillow. When the second section of vibrations went off, I realized it was a call. I pulled it out from under my pillow, the light blinding me as I answered.
"Meg?"
"Spencer?" I whispered, pulling the covers over my head.
"Yeah...I was just...I wanted to see if you were okay..."
I stared,"...Yeah. I got moved in a few hours ago."
"Oh. Good."
There was a silence for a long time, and I felt sick having to listen to it, realizing I couldn't say anything to the man who was one of my best friends.
"You're not coming back, are you?" he choked, voice breaking. I swallowed.
"No," I replied with hopefully no emotion.
I heard him exhale, and I could just see his lip quiver in my head. In my head, I was next to him, smiling at his perplexed look, running my index finger down the wrinkle between his eyebrows. Yeah....
But I wasn't.
"So that's it," he said.
I nodded, but realized he couldn't see me. "Yeah."
I didn't want this, but he would be better over time. I was doing the right thing. I was saving him.
"Well, I...I guess this is goodbye."
"Goodbye. Love you."
I said it without thinking, and I quickly reached for the end button, realizing too late he had already done so.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NESSA'S POV
I waited in the car as Mindy grabbed my stuff. Beth was at work so Mind was staying and helping me till she got home. She helped me out and walked me up into the house. I perched on the couch while she got the snacks and movies. She brought out our ambrosia, Doritos tacos Beth picked up from taco bell. She also got chocolate chip cookies and Mountain Dew. We decided on reruns of Criminal Minds. The characters in the show were nothing like their real life counterparts. My dad wasn't that uptight, Rossi was actually pretty accurate, Hailey wasn't so bitchy and Henry doesn't look that girly. Me and Mindy laughed at the descriptions of their characters.
I still didn't like that they cut me and Meg out. I sighed. The team had called to apologize and tell me that Meg quit. I knew she would be in for a surprise when Madame Giry came in. I sighed. Reid had been refusing to talk to me. The team had never heard what I told Meg until Emily spilled. Emmy had refused to come over. She said that Meg needed her and she couldn't be away. I heard the door bell ring and Mindy went to get it. I saw Robert follow her in.
"He said Beth told him to watch you."
I sighed. He was resorting to this?
"Fine. You can go Mind."
She grabbed her bag and hugged me goodbye. Robert sat down next to me and pulled me against him.
"Hows my babe doing?"
I growled and he forced his lips against mine. He groaned and pushed me down. He pulled my shirt up a bit and rubbed my side.
"Robert get off me!"
"Just enjoy this babe."
He pulled my shirt up further.
This couldn't be happening again. I wouldn't let it.

******************************************************************************
MEG'S POV

"This is gonna blow," I groaned as Emily braided my hair.
"You know, I like your mother," she said.
"Its good to like yourself, Emily. Healthy, even, better than having a complex."
"Meg-"
"You're a better mother than her!" I screeched.
"...I owe her so much, Meg. Even if she did hurt you, I would've never had you without her," she said, tying a ribbon around the tail of my braid.
"She's your mother, Meg. You have to love some part of her."
I pursed my lips. "Whatever..."I groaned.
"There," Emily said, dabbing lip gloss on me. "You look so beautiful."
"And that's all that matters, isn't it?" I said.
She frowned. "Meg-"
"I don't want to argue. She's waiting, right?"
Emily sighed before saying,"The coffee shop on 52 and Lexington."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I lashed out using my feet as weapons. He swatted them aside and grabbed me by my shirt.
"Lay still bitch! I WILL make this hurt ten times worse if you don't."
He ripped my shirt off and I whimpered. What happened to my Robert? He undid my bra and I lay there exposed. He leered down at me and I flinched. At least the last time I hadn't known my attacker. This was far to personal. I wasn't opposed to sex. Far from it. I just didn't want it to be so impersonal. His tongue traced down my abdomen and I kicked him again. This time I landed a solid blow to his manhood. He reeled back and I rolled away. I ran towards the front door and realized it was closed.
He came towards me and I backed against the wall. I screamed and he pulled me down, down, down.
NO NO NO NOT AGAIN! WHY?WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WAS I THAT HORRIBLE? HELP! ANYBODY PLEASE!
I screamed till my voice ran ragged. I cried till I had no more tears left. This wasn't supposed to happen again. Was I that horrible a person? Did god hate me this much? Was that nickname I was called as a child true?
Was I truly Wicked?
***************************************************************************
MEG'S POV

My mother was quiet for most of the chat. I didn't tell her anything that had happened over the past couple weeks. Just hey, how are you, yada yada yada....
"Meg, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you," she whispered.
"Yeah?"  I asked darkly, sipping my coffee, checking the clock for how much longer I had to be here.
"It's about your father."
That caught my attention. "Father?" I asked.
She looked down.
"I don't want to talk about Dad..." I said.
"Meg-"
"He's dead, okay? It's over now."
"Meg-"
"Just stop-"
"Meg, he's not dead!"
I stared, mouth open, hands shaking. My coffee cup shattered.
"What?"
She sighed, and put her head into her hands. "That is not how I wanted to tell you..."
"How did you think that was going to go?" I screamed. "I-I...What do you mean he's not dead?!"
"I was upset the night you came home...I-I...I had to lie and say something, anything. I said he died..."
"Well, what's the truth?"
"The truth?" she said, not looking at me. "He ran away with a scarlet woman. In his letter, he said that it was your fault. He couldn't handle you anymore...I...I guess I was still mad and-"
"That's what it was all about? He blamed me so you blamed me? That's why I was never good enough?"
"Meg-"
"I'm just done!" I screamed, leaving. "With everything!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NESSA'S POV
I curled up. He had finished the deed and left me stranded on the floor. I I broke down into hysterical sobs. Why was I the one destined for all of this to happen to?
Had I really been that bad as a child? Was I truly that grotesque of character? I felt the room spin and I looked up the ceiling was doing a 360. I looked down and all I saw was a trail of blood beneath my lower body. I realized I was blacking out. Possibly forever. I gazed at the ceiling once more and my last image was of Beth screaming.
“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak

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